


There is a ghost

by Beale_mitchell56



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorders, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:46:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22129687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beale_mitchell56/pseuds/Beale_mitchell56
Summary: Chloe Beale is the embodiment of sunshine. However, beneath the bright and bubbly exterior she presents to the whole world, there is a scared and lonely girl. Will Beca be able to help her best friend before it's too late?
Relationships: Bechloe
Comments: 62
Kudos: 90





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set post PP2 pre PP3 in Brooklyn. Trigger warning throughout this fanfic surrounding mental health. Please don't read if you are easily triggered or are vulnerable. Thank you for reading! I read so many fanfic's where Beca is portrayed as the one suffering mental health issues and wanted to explore Chloe going through something. This idea also stemmed for Brittany Snow's own personal struggle with anorexia as a teen/young adult. Please let me know what you think!

The small brunette scrunched her eyes tightly shut, stirring slightly at the unfamiliar sound, and the harsh light of the small bathroom filling the apartment. Beca cringed, somewhat confused at the sound of Chloe- it had to be Chloe- Amy was travelling, the last thing both girls had heard from the unpredictable blonde was that she had met some British guy in Thailand, and that she was extending her short trip? The retching and gagging soon finished from inside the bathroom, the brunette still perplexed as too why Chloe was being sick at- she rolled over picking up her phone, flinching slightly at the brightness, at 01:13 am. Was it something she had eaten? Beca tried to rack her brain but wasn’t home when the ginger had eaten her dinner, and hadn’t bothered to ask? They didn’t need small talk anymore. Beca closed her eyes, still very much awake, listening to the tap being run, longer than normal, so assumed Chloe was brushing her teeth. Then the flush of the toilet and some spray being spritzed, obviously trying to mask the scent of vomit- the small girl grimaced in her semi awake form, memories of freshman year in college, and Aubrey’s vomit explosion coming to the forefront of her mind.

Beca stayed silent, slightly opening her eyes to glimpse at Chloe, quietly padding back to bed. Curly hair now on top of her head in a messy topknot, eyes bloodshot and face paler than usual. The dip in the mattress and the irritating squeaking of the bed, sends shivers down Beca’s spine as hears Chloe let out a deep sigh, rolling towards her. 

‘Are you okay?’ Beca whispered, surprising the ginger who up until this point had thought the brunette had been fast asleep. 

‘Yeah, just felt sick. I’m okay now though.’ Chloe murmured, sounding half asleep, just like the younger woman. Beca grunted not completely satisfied with the response, but too tired to care at the moment- she would ask the ginger again tomorrow, when they were both more awake and coherent. 

The brunette groaned lightly, her head thumping at the incessant ringing of a phone alarm- not hers- she wouldn’t have picked one so, so aggressive. ‘Chlo, what, the hell is that.’ Beca mumbled, hitting the ginger lightly on her arm. Beca felt the older woman stir slightly before sighing, reaching out and turning off the loud ringing that filled the apartment. Seconds later Beca felt the mattress shift and cold air rushing into where Chloe had been laying. Confusion filled Beca’s mind for the second time that night, she always got out of bed before Chloe on weekdays, it was their routine.  
Beca’s alarm would go off at 06:15- she would quietly sneak out of bed, shower, breakfast, the usual. Then at exactly 06:50, she would plant Chloe’s favourite cat mug down next to her bed, filled with coffee and wake the ginger. The brunette would leave soon after, saying goodbyes to Chloe and head to the subway ready for work. It was their routine. 

But now, Beca wrinkled her eyebrows together, why did Chloe have an alarm set so early? Eventually Beca prised one eye open, to spot Chloe pulling her ginger hair into a tight pony, clad in gym clothes. Since when has Chloe decided to workout before work? ‘What are you doing?’ Beca mumbled, rubbing both her eyes. The ginger snapped her head in response, thinking the brunette had gone back to sleep. 

‘I’m going for a run before work. I’ll see you tonight, when you get back?’ Chloe said, smiling, picking up her phone and headphones. 

‘Should you be running if you were sick last night?’ Beca asks, head still slightly pounding. 

‘Oh, I feel fine now, guess it was just the once. Have a good day at work though.’ The older woman says flashing her famous smile at the sleepy/grumpy brunette in bed, before walking out of the apartment door. Beca lets out a sigh, picking her phone up from the bedside table, 05:30- immediately shoving it back down, grateful that she can have another 45 minutes of sleep.

The brunette sighs, fumbling about with her keys, trying to balance her phone, coffee cup and diary on top of her briefcase. Finally, after multiple attempts the door swings open to the small apartment.

‘Hey Bec’s, you’re home late?’ The familiar and comforting sound of Chloe’s voice fills the apartment, immediately calming the brunette. 

‘Yeah sorry. Important meeting and a shit tonne of paperwork.’ The brunette mumbles, dropping all her bags to the floor and placing the coffee cup on the side table. 

‘Ah okay. Well I made pasta bake, but I got hungry, so I ate mine.’ Chloe says, causing the brunette to roll her eyes in sarcasm. 

‘Thanks, how was your day?’ Beca asks slipping her boots off and making her way over to the kitchen table where the older woman had just placed her dinner. 

‘Really good yeah, managed to save a small bunny who had been mauled by a neighbours dog.’ Chloe beamed taking a seat next to Chloe and leaning on her hand. Beca nods taking a big mouthful of the food. 

‘That's good. So how are you feeling? You know, after you were sick?’ the brunette asks, studying the ginger, whose eyes fill with panic for just a split second before being replaced with the usual glimmer. 

‘Oh yeah, I’m completely fine. I don’t know what came over me.’ Chloe responds, playing with her thumb ring. Beca eyes up the girls somewhat strange reaction, before shaking the thought away and continuing to eat her pasta. Chloe is fine? Right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long. But I really wanted to explore Chloe's background and past, and show where her eating disorder developed from. Also I really want to highlight with this story that anorexia and eating disorders aren't really about food, at their core its about control and feeling worthless. I have struggled with anorexia for 10 years, I am now recovered. But my eating disorder never started with wanting to be thinner, it was about control. Anyway- thank you so much for reading- please read and review, comment what you like/don't like, ways I can improve or what you would like to see happen. Also I promise there is more Beca and Chloe interaction coming in the next chapter! Thank you!

‘Choe, some of your friends are worried about you. I am also very worried about you, do you want to tell me what’s going on?’ Miss Collin’s says, watching the small, ginger 16-year-old shuffle nervously.  
‘Miss there is nothing wrong. I’m fine, promise.’ Chloe responds, voice shaky and riddled with anxiety.

‘Chloe, why don’t you take a seat, please.’ The youngish teacher says, pulling out one of the chairs and motioning towards Chloe, who looks terrified. 

‘Miss, why, I’m fine, what’s going on?’ Chloe’s voice wavers, clenching her fists tightly, ignoring the chair that she has just been offered to sit on. 

‘Poppy and Lucy have come and spoken to me, they are very worried and scared about you. They told me that you don’t eat lunch here at school anymore.’ Miss Collin’s states, conversations like this are never easy, but unfortunately common in high schools. 

‘Miss, it’s not that big of a deal, I don’t like the cafeteria food. I eat tonnes when I get home. I’m fine, they are just being stupid.’ The ginger says, immediately defensive, anger bubbling up at her friends betraying her. 

‘I don’t think they are, you’ve lost a lot of weight, and you don’t look well. I don’t want you to get scared, but your parents are here, they are speaking with Mr Foster.’ Chloe feels panic and fear rise in her chest, her parents are here. Why? There is nothing wrong with her? She just doesn’t eat sometimes. That’s fine. She’s fine. 

‘Miss why? There is nothing wrong with me. Why did you call my parents?’ 

The loud noise of a car horn beeping startles the ginger, panting at the traffic lights, sweat beads running down her shiny red face. Chloe begins to run again, as soon as the lights turn green for her and she continues on her early morning exercise, a new habit added to her morning routine.

The slamming shut of the door to the small apartment echoed through, Chloe glances and smiles at the brunette sat at the small kitchen (if you could call it that) eating oatmeal. 

‘How was your run?’ Beca asks taking a sip of her coffee.

‘Good yeah, I’m going to shower, I’ll see you after work?’ Chloe mumbles, placing her phone down on the nightstand, and grabbing her dressing gown. Beca nods, raising her eyebrow slightly at their sudden awkward morning routine. The brunette can’t quite figure it out, the way Chloe doesn’t fill silences with random- slightly weird conversation, or how she doesn’t shove her phone in Beca’s face with yet another sickingly adorable (not that Beca would ever admit it) video of any animal. It’s almost like the ginger is protecting herself, carefully shrinking herself away, which is completely out of character for her. Beca sighs, scraping the last of her oatmeal before placing it in the sink, grabbing her bag and keys and heading out the door. 

She hears the front door shut closed, signalling the brunette has finally gone too work and Chloe let’s out a breath of relief. Now she can start her proper morning routine. Clothes stripped, secret hidden scales that she bought last week, stashed behind the cabinet pulled out and placed on the floor, and her notebook. Truthfully Chloe doesn’t know when or why she started using her old, toxic, yet oddly comforting security blanket again. Sure, the thoughts had slowly started to creep in, the usual ones; 

‘You’re not good enough.’

‘You’re worthless.’ 

‘You’re a failure.’ 

‘How could anyone want to even be around you.’

‘Everyone hates you.’ 

The ones that had been there when she was still a child, aged 12, no real friends, the new kid in school, the ‘weird one’. That was when all of this really started, no friends to sit with at lunch, why bother going into the cafeteria? 12-year-old Chloe was proud that she had been sensible enough to realise there was no point going in, so spent her lunchtimes in the library. The library was safe, quiet, no body stared or laughed at her in there, she could just read and relax for 50 minutes. Then it all spiralled, first it was missing lunch? Not a bit deal? Then it was skipping breakfast, because everybody was in a rush in the morning. Then Ellen, Chloe’s mom, decided Chloe needed to have some hobbies so signed her up for dance, and musical theatre clubs. That became a blessing and a curse, Chloe made friends, real friends, discovered her love of performing and that she was gifted at signing. But dancing also made her very aware of her body, and for the first time Chloe was self-conscious of it. The next three and a half years were a blur, that’s when Chloe vanished and someone or something took over her. Days were not days, the ginger became obsessed with food, calories, how much she had eaten, how little she could eat, how much she need to exercise. Control, control, control. Until one day, her two best friends, clearly concerned about her had gone and told their form teacher how Chloe didn’t eat. Chloe’s parents were told, her older sisters were told, there was a lot of shouting in the Beale household that night. Nobody understood, Jessica her oldest sister started going on about how she didn’t need to look like the models in the magazine. Katherine, her middle sister just kept asking her to eat, and why is it so hard. Olivia, the youngest of the Beale family, was sent to her room to play, only being 10 years old, she was too young to understand. Not that anyone else understood either. Her mum kept crying, didn’t understand how she didn’t see, didn’t notice and her dad, he was the only one who tried to ask Chloe how she was feeling. Things didn’t even improve from there, a lot of doors slamming, food refused, shouting, screaming, crying. That was until Chloe collapsed in a shopping centre, out buying a dress for Katherine's college graduation. There Chloe was rushed in an ambulance to the local ER, after multiple tests and scans, she was formally diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa, bradycardia, dehydration and malnutrition. For the next 10 months, past her 17th birthday Chloe stayed in hospital and went to therapy, was forced to gain weight, forced to eat, pretty much forced to do everything. Until they deemed her well enough to go home and carry on with her life. It worked, for the most part, Chloe came home, mended the broken and fragile relationships with her family, somehow managed to graduate high school on time and stuck to her meal plan like glue. 

But now, well more accurately the last 6 weeks, things have slowly been slipping, and Chloe doesn’t know why? Maybe it’s the stress of living in New York, or the new internship at a vet practice, or the fact that everything seems to be changing, spinning so fast out of control. That food, food is the only thing she can grab a hold of, both literally and men tall, and control. Control what she eats, when she eats, how much she eats. And that, that euphoric feeling, the one that is so detrimental to her health brings her a sick sense of safety. 

Chloe glances at the glass object staring back at her, before slowly stepping on, the coldness sending shivers over her body. Holding her breath, she drops her gaze at the number on the screen by her feet, 124lbs - 2lbs down from Monday, and today's Friday. That’s good. That’s progress. That’s control. The ginger soon snaps out of her daze, quickly scribbles the number, next to the date down and continues on with her morning routine, deciding an apple is enough to sustain her hunger before work. Chloe is fine, Chloe is in control.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I apologise for the long wait between updates. I am currently in my 3rd tear of medical school so things are pretty busy! I also wanted to say that the beginning of this story seems pretty slow, but I just wanted to get the footing right. In the next few chapters things will escalate, there maybe more flashbacks to Chloe's past and a friendly face might turn up? Who knows? Leave comments who you think could be planning on visiting the two girls! Thank you for all your continued support and as always please leave comments/ideas on what you like, don't like, or how I can improve or what you would like too see happen!

‘Goodnight Beca.’ The quiet voice of the elderly office janitor calls out as Beca smiles, walking past him and down towards the exit. The busy New York evening bringing a sense of calmness to the small brunette. Work had been brutal today, back to back meetings, phone calls, endless amount of paperwork. But Beca was glad it was over, and that it was Friday, and that she was on her way home, back to Chloe. 

  
The doors to the subway slam shut and Beca smiles awkwardly at a man staring at her, before pulling her phone out and pressing the button next to Chloe’s name and stupid picture of her drunkly smiling. 

  
‘Hey Beca, are you on your way home?’ The cheerful voice down the line calls out. 

  
‘Yeah, I’m just on subway now, do you fancy ordering a Chinese for dinner?’ Beca asks, hopeful, all she’s been craving all day (thanks to her period) is Chinese takeout and a cold beer. 

  
‘Oh um, yeah, yeah sounds good. I’ll ring them now. See you in 10 mins.’ Chloe responds, before bluntly hanging up. Beca furrows her brows in confusion, something is definitely up with Chloe, she’s been acting weird. Beca makes a mental note to give Aubrey a text later to see if Chloe has mentioned anything her, it’s probably a boy, it always is with Chloe. 

  
Beca sighs walking into the small apartment- slightly bigger since Amy decided to go travelling for 6 weeks- but still small. Instantly hit by a wave of vanilla and lavender, Chloe’s scented candles, Beca steps in and see’s most of the lights, except for the fairy lights draped behind their bed and the lamp in the corner are off. 

  
‘Hey Chloe!’ Beca call’s out not seeing the ginger in any of the spaces, dumping her bag on the floor and kicking off her shoes.

  
‘Hey Beca, just peeing.’ Chloe shouts, causing Beca to roll her eyes. After living so closely to someone for almost a year, you kind of grow used to the weird stuff. Beca walks over to her side of the bed, and pulls at her uncomfortable works clothes, and pulling on her comfy sweatpants and tank top, noticing in the corner of her eye Chloe appear in her PJ’s too.

How was work?’ The ginger asks, taking a seat on the bed, and tying her curly hair up, out of her face.

  
‘Busy, boring, tiring.’ Beca mumbles, poking out her tongue at Chloe’s eye roll, 

  
‘You?’ 

  
‘Oh, it was pretty awesome, I got to help deliver a litter of puppies and they were so cute.’ Chloe beams, making Beca roll her eyes. 

  
‘That’s good, did you order the Chinese?’ Beca asks, as she uses a makeup wipe to remove all her makeup. 

  
‘Yeah, it’ll be here by half past. Do you want a beer? We can stick Netflix on?’ Chloe asks, standing up at Beca’s small nod. 

  
45 minutes later both girls are sat, well Beca is sort of lying on their bed, beers on the nightstands, both with plates full of takeout and Beca’s laptop in between them with the latest episode of the Good Place playing. 

  
‘Dude, you would so end up in the good place. In fact, the good place, wouldn’t be good until you turned up.’ Beca smirked, taking a mouthful of noodles, glancing at the ginger who is rolling her eyes, taking a sip of her beer.

  
‘You would end up there too.’ Chloe states, offering Beca a slight smirk. 

  
‘Shh, don’t tell anybody, I’ve gotta a rep to maintain.’ Beca responds with a grin. The brunette soon glances over at Chloe’s plate, barely touched, except for a few mouthfuls of rice, what is going on with her? 

‘Do you not like the food?’ Beca asks bluntly, clearing startling the ginger whose eyes immediately fill with panic. 

  
‘Oh, no, I’m just not that hungry. Mrs Patterson brought in a massive chocolate cake today and I ate 3 slices.’ The ginger beams, Beca nods, somewhat hesitantly, something inside making her not believe Chloe. But why would Chloe lie to her, she wouldn’t, right?

The brunette groans, rolling over at the sound of retching coming from the small bathroom, instantly panic filling her tiny body. Why is Chloe being sick again? Beca sighs, something must be wrong with her, there has to be. 

  
‘Chlo? Are you okay?’ Beca’s hoarse and sleepy voice calls out as she hears the toilet flush and glances up as she watches the ginger girl walk back over to the bed, face noticeably paler than normal. Chloe glances up and instantly plasters on a smile, crawling back into their bed.

  
‘Sorry, just felt a bit funny.’ The ginger mumbles before turning her back to face Beca, the brunette sighs. It’s more than that, she has heard Chloe throwing up twice in the space of a week. Suddenly Beca gets a wave of her own nausea rushing over her. Surely it can’t be that? I mean, there is no way Chloe could be pregnant?   


  
Chloe’s eyes flutter open at the light streaming in through their cheap IKEA curtains and reaches an arm out to feel for Beca, but is filled with confusion when she feels the bed empty. It was a known fact that on weekends Beca did not like to wake up till at least 10, and then sometimes she wouldn’t get out of bed till 12, or usually Chloe dragged her out so they could go do something. But now Beca was out of bed, much before 10 o’clock. The ginger pushed the few loose strands of her messy hair out of her face and slowly rolled over onto her front. There she spotted the brunette girl, sat at their kitchen table, coffee mug in hand, gazing into the distance. 

  
‘Morning Bec’s, why are you up so early on a Saturday?’ Chloe called out, clearly startling the other girl, who snapped out of her gaze immediately and focused on the ginger, concern and worry clear over her face. 

  
‘Bec’s is everything okay? What’s wrong?’ Chloe instantly asks, sitting up right in bed. Beca shakes her head, setting the coffee mug down. 

  
‘Chloe, I’m really worried about you. I want you to be totally honest with me, I wont judge you, I’m like your best friend. I want to help you, to be there for you, whatever you decide-’ Beca begins to say, only adding further worry and confusion to the ginger, sat up in the bed. 

  
‘Beca what are you on about?’ Chloe asks, trying to hide the panic and fear in her voice. 

  
‘Are you pregnant or is there a chance you could be? I mean you’ve thrown up twice this week, you’ve been off your food, I mean are you late?’ Beca asks, nervously fiddling with her hands. 

  
‘Beca, what the, what?! No! I’m not, pregnant, I mean no, absolutely no way!’ Chloe immediately responds with, slight embarrassed and hurt that Beca jumped straight to that conclusion. 

  
‘Okay, I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what else could be wrong. Is there something wrong? You’ve been acting funny all week?’ The brunette responds. 

  
‘No Beca, there’s nothing wrong. I’m fine. I’m going to go for a run.’ Chloe bluntly replies, grabbing her gym clothes and walking into the bathroom. 

  
The brunette sighs, leaning into her hands, well that could have gone better. She hadn’t meant to accuse the ginger, but clearly it was not what was wrong with the girl. And now Beca had sent Chloe into a mood, great! The ginger soon returns out of the bathroom, gym clothes on and headphones in, not even allowing Beca to apologies or justify herself. Chloe walks through the apartment, grabbing her keys and slams the door, leaving a worried and deflated Beca at the kitchen table.

  
_**09: 47 am- Chlo I’m really sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to offend you. I always put my foot in it. Please, I’m really sorry. Xx**_

  
_**10:56 am- Chloe, I’m really sorry, please come home, I want to spend today with you. Xx** _

  
_**11:32 am- Chlo, where are you? You’ve been gone for ages- are you okay? Xx** _

  
_**12: 37 pm- Are you okay?** _

  
_**13: 47pm Where are you? Xx** _

  
_**14:25pm- Chloe I’m seriously considering calling the police. Just let me know your safe. Xx** _

  
_**From Chloe- 14:27pm- I’m ok. Be back later.** _

  
Beca glanced at the last text Chloe had sent her at half two, almost 5 hours ago. The brunette sighs, placing her half-eaten pasta bake onto the kitchen unit and pressing dial again on Chloe’s phone number. Chloe has literally never done this before in the whole time they have been friends, never actively ignored Beca, and Beca hated it. Just as the answering machine is heard, the brunette spins around at the sound of the front door opening, revealing the ginger. 

  
‘Oh my god Chlo, thank god, I was so worried.’ Beca blurts out walking over to the ginger. 

  
‘What in case I was out getting knocked up or something?’ Chloe responds with a glare baffling and slightly scaring the smaller girl. Beca watches taken back as Chloe rolls her eyes and storms into the bathroom, sighing when she hears the door lock and runs her hand through her hair. 

  
Beca’s eyes glance up at Chloe, exiting the bathroom, towel dried hair, bloodshot eyes and a massive sweater on. 

  
‘I made you a tea? Chamomile and honey. There’s some pasta bake if your hungry?’ Beca asks, almost as a peace offering.

  
‘I ate when I was out. But thanks for the tea.’ Chloe responds, shuffling awkwardly over to their bed and slowly climbing in next to Beca. Tension quickly rises through the apartment, Beca scrolling aimlessly through her Instagram feed, Chloe staring at the ceiling. 

  
‘I’m sorry for today. I didn’t mean to over react, or to make you worried about not coming home.’ Chloe blurts out, voice wavering slightly. Beca shuts off her phone and throws it haphazardly onto the bed, turning to face the ginger. 

  
‘I’m really sorry too, I really didn’t mean to hurt or offend you. I was just worried, that’s all.’ Beca says. Chloe nods, turning to face her too.

  
‘Forgiven?’ Chloe asks with her famous smirk. 

  
‘Of course.’ Beca responds smiling back at her.

  
‘Okay great because there is this really cool video of a cat on YouTube that I’ve been dying to show you all day.’ Chloe beams reaching for her phone, causing Beca to roll her eyes. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the big gap in updates, I've gotten back into the swing of writing now, so hopefully more regular updates. As always, please let me know what you think, please comment, I love hearing your feedback!

10:47am- Hey Bree, have you spoken to Chlo lately? Just she’s been acting kinda weird for the last two weeks, and I don’t really know why? Anyway, hope you’re okay, are you still coming up on the weekend? xx 

The blonde glanced down at the message on her phone from Beca, not somebody who usually texts her, normally they communicate through Chloe. The blonde ponders for a moment, slowing down slightly on the cross trainer, when had she last spoken to her best friend? Of course, she gets snap chats off Chloe, and the girl is forever tagging her in ridiculous memes that she doesn’t really get. But the last time they had had a proper deep conversation, was, well Aubrey can’t really remember. Ever since she left Barden and the ginger stayed, they grew further apart, and the blonde knew Beca had replaced her as Chloe’s best friend, but she was never mad about it. Sure, her and Chloe are still best friends, but they never really talk anymore. Aubrey pauses the cross trainer and presses the icon next to Beca’s contact information and waits for the younger girl to pick up.

‘Mitchell, what’s going on with Chloe?’ 

‘Hi Aubrey, it’s nice to hear from you, I’m fantastic by the way!’ 

‘Beca, I’m serious, is, is she okay?’   
‘Yes, no, urghh, I don’t know.’ 

‘Wow, really helpful there Beca!’ 

‘Hey, she’s pretty hard to read you know! I mean she keeps saying she’s fine, she’s the same Chloe as ever. But I don’t know, somethings changed, and I don’t know what it is.’ 

‘Well, I haven’t spoken to her properly in a while, but I’ll see if I can pry it out of her when I come up?’ 

‘Okay, thanks Bree, all good in Posen world?’ 

‘Yep, everything is cool, thanks for texting me Mitchell, I’ll see you int two days yeah?’

‘Okay, yeah, see you soon.’ 

Beca groaned, putting her phone down before turning her attention back to the ever-growing pile of emails she needed to get done that afternoon. However, all the brunette could think about was Chloe. 

2 days later

The ginger floats around the small apartment, trying her best to make it look tidy, shoving a bra into a drawer, putting the coffee back in the cupboard and emptying the toilet bin. Aubrey was coming to stay for the weekend and Chloe couldn’t wait to see her blonde best friend. Yeah sure Chloe considered Beca her best friend too, but it was a different relationship. Aubrey was like her sister, even though Chloe had three of those already- which reminds her she needs to text Olivia back with her Psychology essays. Chloe glances at the brunette lying down on the bed playing with her hair before shaking her head, the least Beca could do would be to help. 

‘Beca, Aubrey is going to be here within the hour, can you please come and move your laptop and stuff.’ Chloe asks, earning a sarcastic eye roll and sigh from her roommate. 

‘I don’t know why your faffing, it’s just Aubrey. Not like she’s the queen!’ Beca mumbles, slowly rolling of their bed and heading towards the kitchen to clear away her laptop.

‘I know that, I just, want it too look nice for her. And we all know Aubrey has a mild case of OCD.’ Chloe responds, finding another one of Beca’s dirty socks hiding underneath the unit. 

‘You can say that again. Shall we do something tonight then? Maybe go out for food?’ Beca asks reaching for her dirty sock. 

Panic instantly floods Chloe’s ocean blue eyes, it had been a week since the whole Beca thinking she was pregnant argument, it had been the wake up call the ginger had needed. The wake up call that she needed to be careful, sneaky, so she had been. Her days had become what they once were when she was 15 years old. No longer having breakfast, going for a run instead. Surviving on a banana and crackers to get through her busy shift, then having a bowl of soup and more crackers for dinner. The progress was slowly happening, she was down to 119lbs. But it wasn’t enough, it will never be enough. 

‘Um, I think Aubrey said she had already eaten, so maybe we could just do drinks?’ Chloe asks, trying to hide the panic and fear in her trembling voice. 

‘Okay, sure, yeah. In that case, I’m going to shower.’ Beca mumbles, clearly distracted by her phone.

Chloe sighs out in relief when the brunette disappears into the bathroom and runs her shaking hand through her hair. 

‘Yeah, I’m just getting out of the Uber now Chlo. Okay, see you in two seconds.’ Aubrey’s familiar voice calls out down the phone. The blonde hangs up her phone and shoves it back in her back before thanking her driver and opening the car door. Aubrey pulls out her small suitcase and looks up at the familiar building she’s been to a handful of times, her mind thinking back to Beca’s concerned text message and phone call about the ginger.

‘Aubrey!’ Chloe’s voice squeals out, as she launches herself into the arms of her best friend. 

‘Hey Chlo, how are you!’ Aubrey asks, wrapping her arms further around the ginger woman.

‘I’m great, how are you, how’s work?’ Chloe asks, eventually releasing the blonde from her death grip.

The blonde pulls away, studying the ginger, something looks, different? Chloe looks different? Aubrey shakes her head, it’s just because she hasn’t seen her in a few weeks.

‘I’m good, work is work. Shall we go inside?’ Aubrey asks, motioning to the apartment. 

Chloe opens the door to the small apartment, immediately being hit with the smell of perfume and hairspray. The blonde glances around, expecting to see a small brunette somewhere.

‘Beca, Bree’s here.’ Chloe calls out, dumping Aubrey’s suitcase on the floor. Aubrey glances up when she spots Beca walking out of the small bathroom, putting in a pair of earrings.

‘Hey Bree.’ Beca calls out, smiling at the blonde.

‘Beca, how are you?’ 

‘I’m good yeah, you?’ Beca responded, glimpsing at Chloe from the corner of her eye opening a bottle of prosecco. 

‘I’m great thanks. Am I in Amy’s bed?’ Aubrey asked, motioning to the blondes bed. 

‘Oh yeah, there’s clean sheets and everything on it. I don’t want to think about what Amy does in there.’ Beca says grimacing slightly. Aubrey nods, planting her suitcase on the bed.

‘So, Bree, we thought we could go out for some drinks or something?’ Chloe asks, walking over to blonde and handing her a glass of prosecco after delivering one to Beca. 

‘Oh yeah, sounds perfect.’ Aubrey responded, taking a sip before unzipping her suitcase. 

‘I’m starving Chlo, I’m going to order some food.’ Aubrey stated, glancing down at the bar menu, praying they did more than chips and dip. 

Beca immediately glances up at Chloe whose face has flushed pink, ‘I though you said Bree had already eaten?’ Beca asks, confused as she took another sip of her drink. Aubrey glances up at the exchange between the two girls, taking a sip of her margarita. 

‘Oh sorry, I must have gotten confused. Sorry Bree, if you’re hungry though Bec’s you can just order food too.’ Chloe responded in an airy voice, running her hands through her straightened hair.

‘Yeah, I might, they do really good sweet potato chips here. Are you going to have anything?’ Beca asked, glancing at the menu. 

‘Oh no, I’m good thanks, I had a really big lunch.’ Chloe smiled, Aubrey glanced up again at the ginger, concern immediately filling her brain. Chloe instantly offered the blonde a big smile, taking a sip of her cocktail. 

‘Can I steal a couple of your chips though Bec’s?’ Chloe asks with a smirk, earning a sarcastic sigh and eye roll from the brunette. 

‘What about you Bree? What are you having?’ Beca asked standing up ready to head to the bar to order. 

‘Can I get a chicken ceaser salad please.’ The blonde asked smiling at the small brunette who nodded. She watched as Beca walked away into the busying crowd of the bar before turning her attention back to the ginger. Something did seem up with the ginger, she seemed tired, but maybe that was the stress of the internship? 

‘So how are you Chlo? Really? I feel like we don’t chat anymore.’ The blonde says leaning of the table to grasp her hand, earning a confused look from the ginger. 

‘I’m good Bree, honestly, just tired from the long shifts at the internship.’ The ginger replied smiling, squeezing her hand gently. Beca soon returned to the table with another round of drinks and they three girls continued chatting. 

‘Yeah, Emily came out to spend the weekend at the lodge, I think she was just very stressed about finals.’ The blonde stated, taking another forkful of salad into her mouth. 

‘Yeah, she face-timed me last week, having a breakdown over the Bella’s- she’s worse than both of you together!’ Beca said, smirking at the reaction gained from the other two. 

‘I wasn’t that bad!’ Chloe screeched trying to defend herself, to which Beca rolled her eyes again. 

‘Beale, have some chips, you haven’t had one, come on.’ Beca stated, shoving the plate in front of Chloe, who instantly looked terrified before plastering on a smile and taking one of the chips. Aubrey couldn’t help but notice the strange reaction but continued eating her salad and chatting. 

‘I’m just going to the toilet, be back soon.’ Chloe stated, standing up and grabbing her purse. Beca watched as she manoeuvred her way through the busy crowd before she disappeared. 

‘So, what do you think? She seems off right?’ The brunette blurted out at the blonde who sighed, she nodded, Chloe did seem different, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. 

‘Yeah, she does seem different, but maybe she’s just tired?’ The blonde said shrugging her shoulders. Beca nodded, not sound that convinced by the response from Aubrey. 

‘But please keep an eye on her Beca, if she gets worse, please call me.’ The blonde stated, taking another sip, as Chloe soon appeared back into the crowd. Chloe’s fine right?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you fore everyone who left Kudos on the previous chapters. I hope your all doing well in whatever state of quarantine your currently in. I really struggled writing this chapter, but I think I'm pleased with how it turned out- please let me know what you think! SO.. Beca finally figured it out, I wanted to try and show how even when people figure out what's going on, they very rarely know what to do or say. Also Aubrey, does she know more? More coming soon! Thank You.

‘Yeah, okay mom, yeah, sure thing, yep, I’m fine, Beca’s fine. Okay, yeah, give my love to dad. Love you too.’ The ginger hangs up her phone, panting slightly, gripping onto the door frame leading into the small apartment, the run she had been just been on had took it out of her. Chloe walked into the apartment, ignoring the growing pain in her head, and her pounding heart an heading to the kitchen to grab a glass off water, shaking her head slightly at her clammy, shaking hands. 

The ginger leans on the kitchen unit, taking slow but big gulps of the cold water, wiping her sticky forehead with the opposite hand, glancing up slightly when she sees Beca emerge from the tiny bathroom. They hadn’t really spoken in a few days, face to face anyway, Chloe had picked up some night shifts at the veterinary practice, going to work before Beca came home and then not coming home until Beca had left for work in the morning. It wasn’t that they had argued, not at all, but something had changed between them. 

‘Hey, how was your night shift?’ Beca asked, sitting down on the unmade bed to pull a pair of black boots on, gazing up cautiously at the ginger girl stood in the kitchen. 

‘Yeah it was okay, busy.’ Chloe murmured back, setting the glass down on the counter, moving to her side of the bed and grabbing a towel. The ginger could feel Beca’s gaze burning into her back as she moved around the apartment. 

‘Chlo, are you-, dude, what’s going on? You look like shit.’ Beca blurted out, somewhat hesitantly. The brunette took a deep breath in as she watched Chloe stand up straight and pull her pony tail tighter. 

‘Bec, I’m fine, just tired that’s all.’ The ginger smiled, before disappearing into the bathroom. The brunette sighed at the sound of the shower turning on, her concern growing for her best friend. Beca wasn’t an idiot- not really, she knew something was going on with Chloe, the girl looked terrible, and for years Beca didn’t think it was possible for the ginger to look bad. Beca had seen Chloe in some states, drunk and spewing on the floor, hungover as fuck, but nothing compared to how she looked now. Beca could see that Chloe had lost weight, her face was pale and gaunt, with dark circles underneath her eyes, she just didn’t look well, and the brunette didn’t know why or how to help. Ever since Aubrey had come up, nearly a month ago, things started to change, rapidly. Chloe started working night shifts, during the week, and done overtime on the weekends. The two girls had hardly seen each other. Beca sighed before grabbing her work back and heading out of the door, but tonight, Chloe wasn’t working, and Beca and told her boss she was leaving on time so the two could spend the evening together. 

The ginger let out a breath of relief on hearing the apartment door shut, before stripping off her clothes and pulling the scales hidden behind the cabinet out and standing on them Holding her breath as she anxiously waits for the number to flash onto the screen. 

101lbs

Almost instantly Chloe feels herself crumble, that number, that number was scary, that number was low. The ginger wiped the tears that had fallen down her face, taking a deep breath and scribbling the number down next to the date. Confusion and conflicting feelings filled her head, she was happy, proud of the number just revealed to her, but she knew, it was bordering on the dangerous side again. Chloe shook her head before hiding the scales and her book again and stepping into the running shower. 

Chloe groaned at the sound of her phone ringing abruptly- coming off nights was always a challenge, she would finish her shift, change in work then go for a run before coming home, showering and sleeping till about 2 in the afternoon. Who was calling her? Chloe stuck her hand put and eventually located the vibrating and ringing phone on charge next to her, rubbing her eyes as she sat up and realised it was Aubrey face timing her. Chloe sighed, glimpsing at her reflection, god she did loo awful, her face was pale, dark circles underneath her eyes and she just looked rough. Despite that knowledge of her appearance, Chloe sighed and slid the ‘accept’ button across and waited to be connected to the blonde. 

‘Chloe hey, how are you?’ Aubrey’s bright and cheerful voice called out, smiling down the camera. 

‘Hey Bree, I’m good thanks, how are you?’ Chloe replied, running her hand through her slightly damp curls.

‘Chloe! Are you okay, you don’t look well.’ Aubrey’s voice called out, her face moving slightly closer to the camera, trying to get a better glimpse at the ginger. Chloe instantly feels herself blush and panic at the blondes reaction, Aubrey knew her so well, knew when she was lying or pretending, and she honestly didn’t think she looked that bad. 

‘Bree, I’m good, I’m just tired from my night shifts.’ Chloe insisted, smiling back at her friend who still looked concerned. 

‘Hmm, are you sure? Are you eating enough?’ Aubrey asked, with a knowing tone that again panicked Chloe- why would Aubrey ask that? She doesn’t know about Chloe’s problems? 

‘Bree, yeah I’m sure, I was actually just getting up to have a late lunch, and I think me and Bec’s will probably have a takeout tonight.’ Chloe stated, tensing her jaw at the lies she was so easily telling her best friend. 

‘Okay, yep sure thing. Bye.’ Beca ended the call to her boss before leaning back in her chair and sighing, taking a sip of her coffee that went cold probably 45 minutes ago. The brunette glances down she when hears her phone ringing again, only slightly confused when she realises its Aubrey, why is Aubrey ringing her? 

‘Hey, Bree, everything okay?’ Beca asks, hunting around in her desk draw for a snack of some form. 

‘Not really no, I just face timed Chloe and she looks dreadful, what’s going on? Why didn’t you call me?’ Aubrey demanded, voice filled with anger and worry. 

‘Bree, listen, I was going to call you, I was going to speak to her tonight- I don’t know what’s going on, but its bad.’ Beca stated, nearly on the verge of tears. 

‘What has her eating been like? Has she been skipping meals?’ Aubrey responded, voice softer now at Beca’s reaction. Beca instantly scrunches her eyebrows in confusion, why was Aubrey asking her this? 

Beca does however try to think about Chloe, it’s hard for her to actually think about what the ginger eats, she can’t remember the last time she saw Chloe eat something that wasn’t an apple? The realisation of what the problem suddenly hits the brunette as if she’s been winded, all the air rushes out of her lungs and her stomach fills with anxiety. 

‘Bree, what’s going on?’ Beca asks, voice wavering with concern. 

‘I don’t know yet, but I’m coming up on Saturday okay.’ Aubrey responds bluntly. Beca nods still in shock at the realisation of what’s happening to Chloe. Aubrey soon hangs up the phone and the brunette stares at the blank computer screen in front of her. How hadn’t she noticed, looking back now it was blatantly obvious, the throwing up, the exercise, the excuses, the lies. Everything. 

The rest of her afternoon passed in a blur, Beca didn’t get much work done, all she could think- no- worry about was Chloe, how was she supposed to bring this up? What if they were wrong? They must be wrong, Chloe wouldn’t do this to herself, she was smart, they definitely had the wrong end of the stick. As much as Beca tried to convince herself that they had this all wrong on her way home from work, she knew, deep down she knew. 

The brunette paused just before entering into their apartment, already on the verge of tears, she had decided she wasn’t going to say anything until Aubrey came up. Aubrey would be much better at dealing with, with, whatever this was. Beca pushed the door to their apartment open and walked in, instantly glancing at Chloe who was sat at the kitchen table, coffee in one hand and book in the other. 

Beca nearly sprinted to the toilet at the sight of Chloe, someone she didn’t recognise anymore. 

‘Hey Bec’s, how was work?’ Chloe’s voice called out, snapping Beca out of her racing thoughts. 

‘It was okay, pretty uneventful, how was your day?’ Beca asked, turning around to place her work stuff on the bed. 

‘Yeah same, I spoke to Bree for a bit, and then I made some chocolate chip cookies, they are amazing, if I say so myself, do you want one?’ Chloe beamed, smiling, Beca turned back around to watch as she shifted across the kitchen and putting a cookie onto a plate before offering it to Beca. Beca smiled through her teeth before mumbling about needing a shower. 

As soon as she shut the door on the bathroom Beca took in a deep breath, she was way out of her depth her, even just seeing Chloe made her feel physically sick- not something she ever thought she would say about the ginger. But looking at Chloe, made Beca realise everything she had missed, or chosen to ignore over the last few weeks, she wasn’t just thin, she was scarily thin. Despite the big sweater and sweatpants, Beca could see hard evidence of what her best friend was doing to herself, how the hell hadn’t she noticed before?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thank you for all the comments and kudos! It really means a lot, I hope your all doing well during these hard times. The updates between the next chapters may take slightly longer as I am heading into the hospital to work during Covid-19 as I am a 3rd year medical student- I have chosen to work on a covid-19 intensive care unit here in the U.K so will be very busy! But anyway, I hope you all enjoy this latest chapter- it was very hard for me to write- but i wanted to portray Beca's inner turmoil at dealing with finding out about Chloe. Also bit of a cliff hanger at the end- who do you think turns up at the apartment? Let me know what you think, leave comments, criticisms- all welcome! Stay safe guys

Beca sighed, rolling onto her back, no matter how hard she tried she could not get to sleep. She glanced at the sleeping ginger next to her, hair pulled back into a messy bun, a few wispy curls escaping framing her face, it was easy to forget looking at her. But Beca couldn’t forget, couldn’t forget that feeling of all the air rushing out of her lungs, the feeling of rising sick in her stomach at the sight of her best friend. After managing to calm herself down Beca rationalised with herself that she would wait for Aubrey before doing anything. But the brunette seemed to change her mind every five minutes, just looking at made her want to shove a loaf of bread down her mouth. But Beca knows that’s not how eating disorders work- she had never known anyone (she doesn’t think) with an eating disorders. Sure, there were the girls in school who would proudly say ‘I’ve only eaten 3 carrots for lunch’ but Beca was sure, almost hoped now that they were nothing serious. She had seen them on TV and in movies, the same poster girl for anorexia- a white, rich teenage girl, who usually was a dancer of some sort, whose eating disorder either started from parents divorce, wanting too to look like the models or something along those lines. But that wasn’t Chloe, as far as Beca knows- Chloe had a normal, happy childhood, 3 sisters, parents still together, no problems in high school. So why? Why was Chloe doing this too herself? She wasn’t a 15-year-old girl with daddy issues and an obsession with teen vogue, she was a 24-year-old, with a proper job, and an adult life? Why was she doing this? Beca sighed, rubbing at her forehead, reaching out and grabbing her phone, noting her wallpaper, a picture of Chloe, Amy and herself at one of the bars, smiling, laughing. Beca blinked a tear that was threatening to spill out before checking the time, 04.32. An hour before Chloe would get up for her run, Beca had a good mind to lock the door and hide the key, desperately wanting the ginger to stay in.  
The next hour Beca lay in the small bed, scrolling through her phone, researching eating disorders, what they meant, why they start, physical effects, everything. The more she researched the more frightened/ confused she got. Beca had already texted her boss to say she wasn’t going in, somewhere between reading that Chloe could have a heart attack had made up the brunettes mind. The brunette locked her phone at the sound of Chloe’s alarm clock, she felt the bed shift and Chloe groan, rolling over and slapping the phone till the apartment was filled with silence. 

‘Don’t go… um, stay with me, please.’ 

Beca whispered, barely loud enough to be heard, but she knew that Chloe had heard her, the room instantly filled with an uncomfortable tension, Beca silently pleading for the ginger to agree and stay in bed. But Beca felt her hear crack at the covers shifting, cold air rushing into the bed. 

‘I won’t be out long, I’ll see you before you leave?’ The gingers voice replies sleepily. 

Beca glances over at Chloe, pulling on a massive sweater, internally grimacing at the sight ‘I’m not working today.’

Chloe stops, hesitantly, panic clearly filling her face, ‘oh, how come?’ 

For a split second, Beca was going to burst out with the elephant in the room, she was going to say it, she was going to ask Chloe why she was doing this. But Beca, Beca was never good with other peoples feelings, hell, she was barely good at dealing with her own. In college, Chloe was the one everyone went to if they had a problem, she became the house therapist if you like. Chloe was the one who consoled Stacie after her grandma died, who watched sad movies with Emily after she failed a test. Beca on the other hand was there if you needed a sarcastic/ witty comeback, she was the one who made things fun again- she never done feelings. But like always, Beca chickened out, she needed Aubrey, and she never thought in her life that Beca would admit something like that. But she was way out of her depth here. 

‘Oh, my boss just told me to work from home today, are you off?’ Beca asked curiously, already knowing that Chloe was off work, she had already checked the gingers diary- not that she had a habit of going through Chloe’s things, but this was an emergency. 

‘Yeah, I’m off, I’ll see you when I get back?’ 

Beca nodded, watching Chloe grab her phone and head phones and slip out the apartment door, sighing, she thought Chloe would want to stay in bed with her, she could always usually manipulate the ginger with the promise of more cuddles- but not this time. 

The rest of the day seemed to pass by in a blur, Beca watched Chloe make pathetic excuses as to why she wasn’t eating, Breakfast was she didn’t want to eat straight after her run, but she did eat and apple around 10.30. Lunch Chloe vanished off to the grocery store, and then claimed to have grabbed food whilst out. But Beca wasn’t buying any of it, it was painful to watch Chloe nibble away at 2 dry crackers around 3pm, when the ginger was so pale and shaky that Beca nearly called an ambulance. The brunette had resorted to texting Aubrey instead, asking what she should do, Aubrey had responded almost instantly, stating to lightly encourage Chloe to have a snack, which Beca had done, a mere suggestion. The exchange between Beca and Chloe a foreign concept for the two best friends, almost like they were both aware of what is going on, but both too afraid to say anything. Chloe had hesitated at first, but then glanced down at her shaking hands before rummaging through the cupboards to look for a specific brand of cracker- Beca had no clue what the difference was. 

It was now around 6pm, both girls sat watching the latest episode of Brooklyn 99, curled up on the bed, Chloe grasping at a mug of green tea, Beca more focused on watching that she doesn’t faint and what to do about dinner. Dinners on a Friday for the two roommates were usually a takeout, or going to a restaurant, but Beca knew that wouldn’t be happening- not now anyway. 

‘I’m going to make dinner, what do you fancy?’ Beca asked, trying to sound as calm and neutral as possible. 

‘Oh, it’s okay, I’ll make it, how about carrot and tomato soup?’ Chloe instantly replied, Beca could hear the fear in her voice. 

‘Are you sure? I don’t mind making it?’ Beca responded, glancing at Chloe’s pale skin. 

‘Nope, I’m sure.’ The ginger replied before setting down her mug and walking over to the kitchen. 

Beca watched for what seemed like forever of Chloe making the soup, engaging in occasional small talk with the ginger, but more interested in how precise Chloe was being, right down to the amount of salt she put in the soup- Beca was pretty sure a pinch would have been okay. 

‘Okay it’s ready, do you want bread?’ Chloe called out, filling two glasses with water from the tap. 

Beca nodded her head before making her way over to the kitchen and glancing down at the two portions, one noticeably larger than the other. Beca took a deep breath, she couldn’t just let this carry on. She needed to say something, she had to.

‘Chlo-’

‘What the bloody hell has happened to you ginge?’


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys for all of your comments and kudos, so these next few chapters are going to be filled with a lot of angst, and has a trigger warning. Please only read if you feel you are in a safe mindset to do so. Always here if people need me. Please leave comments, reviews anything at all! Hope your all staying safe and hope you like this chapter!

‘What the bloody hell has happened to you ginge?’

Beca spins at the familiar Australian accent bellowing through the small apartment. Yep sure enough there stood the Blonde, tact clearly left in whatever country she had been travelling in- not that Beca thought the other girl had any to begin with. Bea glances back at Chloe who is stood between the kitchen table and unit, caught like a deer in headlights, fear in her usually sparkling blue eyes. 

‘Amy! How are you?’ Chloe beams, ignoring the question that fat Amy had posed her and regaining her composure slightly. Beca watches her make her way over to the blonde and pull her into a hug. 

‘Holy shit red, where have you gone? There’s nothing to hug.’ Fat Amy exclaims, pulling away from the ginger, again Chloe says nothing just laughs and moves back over to the kitchen. 

‘I’m being serious, I’m pretty sure I was bigger than you when I was born- I have the record of being the biggest baby born down under.’ Amy says with a grin towards Beca. 

‘Whattup short stack’ the blonde shouts, immediately pulling the brunette into a hug. 

‘Hi Amy, how was? Where did you even go?’ Beca asks pulling away from the uncomfortable hug. 

‘Well my young friend, that is a story for later, after a couple of drinks.’ Amy states patting Beca condescendingly on the head. Beca rolls her eyes before watching Chloe lean hesitantly against the kitchen unit, eyes fixed on the floor. 

‘Seriously though Chloe, where’s the rest of you gone? Has Beca been nicking all the food? Storing it like a baby hamster?’ Amy asks moving towards the fridge. Beca shuffles awkwardly, scoffing at Fat Amy’s claims that she’s been storing her food- she only hid her lucky charms in college because some unknown culprit was eating all of them. 

‘I’m fine Amy. I guess you just haven’t seen me in a long time, I mean you look pretty different too- I haven’t said anything to you!’ Chloe replies bluntly, shocking both girls, Chloe never speaks like that, never. Beca holds her breath as the ginger brushes past her towards the toilet, pulling the curtain across. Beca raises her eyebrows up at the confused expression on Amy’s face before sighing out. 

‘Short stack, what the actual fuck is going on with red? She looks like she’s going to collapse.’ Amy asks in a half whisper. Beca knows Chloe can hear it, despite the blondes attempt to be quiet. Beca ponders, should she tell Amy, it’s pretty obvious, even to the normally oblivious blonde. But, Amy’s never been one for tact or sensitivity, and Beca doesn’t want to jeopardise her attempt at bringing this up with Aubrey by freaking the ginger out. 

‘I don’t know, she won’t tell me anything.’ Beca whispers, settling on telling the blonde enough to satisfy her. Amy nods, sort of getting the hint before glancing down at the kitchen table. 

‘What the fuck is that?’ Amy asks bending down to sniff at the funny coloured soup. 

‘Mine and Chlo’s dinner’ Beca states, suddenly not really fancying the weird soup, eyes following the ginger that has just returned from the bathroom. 

‘Well ginge, throw that miserable looking dinner in the bin where it belongs, because I want one of our famous takeaways from golden star.’ Amy states, referencing the Chinese shop on the corner from them, that they always used to order from, every Friday night- it became their tradition. Beca catches her breath, frightened of Chloe’s response. 

‘Amy, I’m not just throwing this food away, it’s perfectly good, it’ll be a waste.’ Chloe defends, folding her arms across her chest, one eyebrow raised. 

‘Its not real food though red, its liquid, it doesn’t count.’ The blonde states, slowly stirring Beca’s bowl of soup around with a look of utter disgust on her face. 

‘Amy that doesn’t even make sense. You and Beca have Chinese if you want? I’m happy with soup.’ Chloe states, glancing at Beca, who stands awkwardly, not sure of what she really wants- all she wants is the ground to swallow her up. 

‘Nah Chloe, it’s got to be the three of us, like old times, just save the soup till tomorrow if you want it that much.’ Amy states, rummaging through the kitchen cupboards, probably looking for wine. Beca could definitely use some alcohol right now. 

Chloe feels her chest begin to tighten, why can’t Amy just accept that she doesn’t want Chinese? She is a grown woman who can decide when and what she wants to eat. 

‘Amy, I’m actually not that hungry right now, so I won’t have Chinese.’ Chloe states, avoiding glancing over at Beca, who she knows is staring at her right now. 

‘I won’t take no for an answer red. The usual guys yeah?’ Fat Amy asks, not really waiting for a response, and choosing to ignore the ginger. Which further irritates her. 

‘Amy did you not hear me, I’m not having Chinese.’ Chloe blurts out anger rising in her voice.

‘I heard you Chloe, but by the way you look you need feeding up.’ Amy responds bluntly, the ginger scoffs before shaking her head. 

‘Amy can you just sto-’

‘oops, food will be here within the hour.’ The blonde informs both girls, before reaching for 3 wine glasses.

Beca watches as Chloe’s face pales and can practically see the ginger shaking. Again, the brunette says nothing, just stands uncomfortable at the obvious tension now filling the apartment. 

‘Well Amy, you’ve wasted your money on mine because I won’t be eating it. I actually feel sick if you care about that.’ Chloe responds defiantly, Amy rolls her eyes placing the bottle of wine on the table. 

‘I thought you just said you weren’t hungry, that’s why you didn’t want it. Careful Chlo, running out of excuses here.’ The blonde states sarcastically. Beca runs her hand through her hair, the tension rapidly rising in the small apartment. 

Chloe scoffs, trying her best to hide her panic and fear, shit Amy knows, how does she know? She been back what, like 5 minutes? ‘They’re not excuses, I don’t want Chinese food.’ The ginger states, trying to sound confident, but she knows she sounds pathetic. 

‘Not part of the rexi diet is it? What is ice and water?’ Amy says flippantly, turning to face the ginger. 

‘Amy what the fuck are you talking about?’ Chloe asks, practically shouting, face flushing red. Beca sighs, sitting down at the table, resting her head in the palms of her hands. 

‘Are you going to say anything? Because its pretty damn obvious what’s going on here, or do you not have the balls to do it?’ Fat Amy states, turning to the brunette sat at the table. Beca picks her head up from her hands, glancing between the blonde and the ginger in front of her, Chloe looking angrier and more frightened than Beca has ever seen the girl. What is the point in waiting for Aubrey anymore, Amy true to herself and put the elephant in the room in the spotlight as soon as she had come home. 

Beca sighs, taking a deep breath ‘Chlo, please just sit down a minute.’ Chloe’s angry gaze on Beca immediately falters, and Beca can see fear take its place. 

‘I’ll stand, what, what do you want to say to me?’ Chloe states, voice shaking, the threat of tears evident. 

‘Chloe, I know you have some, issue or problem with food, I-’

‘How dare you accuse me of that. Just because I won’t eat some poxy, cheap New York Chinese takeaway doesn’t not make me have a problem with food’ Chloe shouts, ‘I’m not listening to this anymore, I’m going for a walk.’ Chloe states, before either two girls can react and respond the ginger is out of the door, which slams shut. 

‘Well that could have gone better. Wine?’ Fat Amy asks motioning to the wine as Beca sits in disbelief at what just happened. 

2 hours, 2 hours and Chloe has yet to return back to the apartment. Amy pretty much vacated the apartment after demolishing her Chinese, stating that there were plenty of people in New York she needed to catch up with- Beca didn’t even question her, more concerned about the ginger. Chloe hadn’t even taken her phone with her, and now all Beca could think is that the ginger has passed out somewhere or had a heart attack- anything. 

The brunette lets out a breath of relief when she hears the key to the apartment being put in the door, knowing it had to be the ginger, Amy had very kindly informed her that she would be spending the night elsewhere. Beca rolls over, propping herself up on her elbow and watches the door opening revealing the ginger. 

‘Thank god your home, I was worried.’ Beca whispers as Chloe steps into the apartment, Beca can immediately see Chloe’s puffy, red rimmed eyes, and tear stains down her cheeks, which breaks the brunettes heart. This has all gone wrong, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this, Beca can’t quite believe they are in this situation at all. 

Beca glances up and watches in silence as Chloe kicks off her shoes and starts to pull her clothes off, it’s the first time in weeks that Chloe has changed in front of the brunette. Normally Beca was used to seeing Chloe in a from of undress most days, heck she’d seen the ginger naked more than twice, Chloe was just very comfortable with her body- Beca had assumed. But gradually Chloe stopped changing out in the common areas of the apartment, the brunette hadn’t really noticed at first, but now Chloe is changing in front of her, it’s pretty obvious why. Beca physically feels sick at the sight of Chloe, and just shuts her eyes, too worried to see her best friend in that state. Only when she feels a dip in the bed and sheets shift does the brunette open her eyes again, and the sit makes her heart shatter into a million pieces. Chloe Beale the embodiment of sunshine and happiness, breaking down, tears rolling down her face and shaking slightly. Beca quickly envelopes the ginger into a hug, trying to stop her own tears from falling.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really hope you like this chapter, it was incredibly difficult for me to write. Hope everyone is doing well in Lockdown and staying safe! I left it on a slight cliff hanger, but know what Aubrey is here do you think Chloe will admit what's been going on? What does this mean for Beca and Chloe's relationship? Please comment, thank you so much for all your support! Much love xx

The bright light of the New York morning sun streamed through the cheap curtains, causing the small brunette to burry her head further underneath the duvet, when suddenly the memories of last night come flooding back. The brunette shoves her tired arm out, hoping, praying that the ginger is still in bed, Beca can’t really remember when she and Chloe fell asleep, she had held Chloe in her arms for a long time, whilst the older woman sobbed into her. Her fragile body shaking so violently that at one-point Beca thought she was going to snap in two. But Beca immediately sits up, panic filling her body when she realises the ginger is not in the bed. Beca glances around the apartment, Chloe not visible anywhere, the brunettes fear rapidly filling her brain, until she hears the flush of the toilet and the turning of taps. Beca sighs leaning back slightly, still dreading the conversation she needed to have with Chloe, not knowing how the ginger would react to it. The brunette holds her breathe when the curtain begins to move, and watches the ginger woman come into view, an unusually large smile on her face and clad in workout stuff- confusing the brunette even more.

‘Morning Bec’s how are you?’ Chloe asks cheerfully, sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

Beca scrunches her eyebrows together in confusion, what is happening? Why is Chloe acting so normal? ‘I’m fine Chlo, are, are you okay?’ Beca asked, voice quiet and husky. 

‘Yeah I’m great thanks, so I’m going for a quick run, but I’ll be back soon?’ Chloe states jumping up from the bed. 

‘Wait! Don’t you think we should talk about, what happened last night?’ Beca asks, sitting up even more in the bed, she watches Chloe’s cheerful expression falter slightly, before a fake smile is plastered on her face. 

‘Oh, that was nothing, just hormones, I’m fine Beca, stop worrying about me.’ Chloe chirps before grabbing her phone and heading out the door, leaving a flabbergasted Beca sat in the bed, confused as hell. 

The brunette spun around, at the sound of her ringing phone and wandered over from the kitchen to the bedside table, glancing at the caller ID; 

Aubrey Posen

Shit, of course, Aubrey was coming up today. ‘Hey Bree, everything okay?’ 

‘Hey Beca, I’m good, just getting of the plane now, so I can meet you somewhere in like 45 minutes before we talk to Chloe if you’d like?’ Aubrey responded. Beca glanced at the time, Chloe has only been gone for 15 minutes, so she could sneak out before the ginger gets back. 

‘Yeah Bree, that sounds good, there’s a Starbucks about 15 minutes from me, shall we meet there?’ Beca asks taking a sip of her coffee. 

‘Okay sure, I’ll meet you there.’ The blonde replies on the other end of the phone.

‘Great, one problem though Bree, Amy came home last night and may have stuck her oar in.’ 

Chloe sighed, her head spinning and heart pounding, gripping onto the cold railing tightly with her shaking hand. Her ‘quick’ run and turned into an hour and 40-minute run through Brooklyn and now the ginger felt awful. Chloe took a deep breath ready to face Beca and the millions of questions the brunette was likely to have, it was going to be hard to hide now, thanks to Fat Amy and her big gob. The ginger opened the door to the apartment, expecting to find Beca sat at the table with two cups of something ready to interrogate her, but Chloe was surprised to find the apartment empty- maybe Beca did believed her? The ginger walked around, taking deep breaths, hoping it would make the dizziness disappear from her spinning head before finding a sticky note on the table; 

Hey Chlo, I’ve had to go to the office to pick up a few things, I should be back by lunch- Beca x

Chloe sighed, at least she had a chance to think of some excuses to tell the brunette before she got back. The ginger walked towards the shower, head pounding and heart racing, and pulled the curtain across, stripping off her clothes. 

97lbs 

Beca sighs glancing around the relatively quiet Starbucks just down the road from her apartment tapping anxiously on the table, worried about what Chloe is going to think about Beca talking to Aubrey. Beca gazes up at the sound of the door opening and is filled with relief at the sight of her ex-captain walking in. 

‘Aubrey.’ Beca calls out waving slightly at the blonde who smiles back and makes her way over to the small brunette. 

‘Thank god you’re here.’ Beca states with a sigh before launching herself into a hug with the older woman. 

After a quick catch up with each other and coffee has been ordered the conversation quickly shifts to why the blonde has come to New York. 

‘So, what happened with Amy?’ 

‘You know Amy, no tact whatsoever, she just straight up asked Chloe, then they started to argue, I tried to ask Chloe in a calm way, but she freaked out and left. Eventually she came back and broke down crying. But this morning before I left she was acting like last night never happened. I don’t know what to do Bree.’ 

‘How bad is she, she looked terrible on facetime to me.’ 

‘She’s awful Bree, she changed in front of me for the first-time in ages last night and I thought I was going to be sick. We need to do something, I’m scared she’s going to collapse or something, but she won’t talk to me, she keeps acting as if everything is fine.’ Beca stated, voice noticeably wobbling. 

‘That’s quite common for individuals who have eating disorders to do, you know carry on acting like everything is fine. I can try talking to her, but if she doesn’t listen to me, we will have to phone her parents, they know how to deal with this.’ The blonde said, taking a sip of her coffee and glancing at the brunette who looked confused. 

‘What do you mean, deal with this? Has Chloe struggled before?’ Beca asked, hesitant, was this not the first time this has happened? 

‘Oh, um, yes, she has. I only know because Chloe accidently told me when she was drunk. It was one of our first times out as freshman, I’d only known her for like 2 weeks, and we were both pretty drunk- Chloe more than me. She just kind of blurted it out, that she used to have problems with food when I suggested getting food on our way home. But then we forgot about it and carried on. The next morning, I realised Chloe didn’t remember telling me, and it didn’t seem like a big deal, I thought it was just a diet gone a bit wrong when she was a teenager.’ Aubrey stated, Beca nodded leaning her head into the palms of her hands.

‘That Christmas I stayed with Chloe and her family, and I could see Chloe was acting weird around her food, in the afternoon Chloe was having nap and I asked her mom about it. Chloe’s mom told me that Chloe used to have anorexia, it started when she was 12 and she ended up in hospital when she was 16 and only made it to college by the skin of her teeth. Her mom didn’t really go into detail about it but was glad that I knew so I could watch out for anything in college. For the most part Chloe was fine, only on a few occasion did I have to remind her to eat breakfast or to have a snack, but I played it off as passing comments. Chloe still doesn’t know that I know.’ Aubrey said, getting annoyed at herself for not taking it more seriously, or not asking Chloe about it. 

‘Wow, why wouldn’t she tell me though? I’m like, her best friend, we’ve lived together for years, why would she keep this from me.’ Beca asked, more questions flooding her brain than before. 

‘I’m not sure, you need to ask Chloe that, but she kept it from me too Beca. I think the only people who really know how bad she was are her family.’ Aubrey stated, trying to comfort the brunette. 

‘So, you’ve text Amy to stay away until we tell her she can come back, yes?’ the blonde asks glancing at Beca who was walking silently next to her. 

‘Yes, she said something about a competition and some celebrity- but she’s staying away.’ Beca stated, nervously clicking her fingers as she could see their apartment coming into view. 

‘Bree, she’s going to hate me for doing this to her, what if she doesn’t forgive me?’ The brunette asked anxiously, stopping in the middle of the street. 

‘You’re probably right Beca, she will hate you, but she will forgive you too, when she’s well again, she’ll see how you done the right thing.’ Aubrey stated kindly, smiling at the younger woman. Beca nodded taking in a deep breath and continuing to walk towards their apartment. 

Beca pushes the door to their apartment open and is immediately hit with the smell of chocolate cake, Chloe must have been baking, again. The brunette walks in and sure enough is met with Chloe stood in the kitchen, piping icing onto chocolate cupcakes. 

‘Oh, hey Bec, did you get everything you needed at the office?’ The ginger asks without looking up from the cake she’s currently decorating. 

‘I didn’t go to the office, I actually met up with Bree.’ Beca stated, placing her bag down on the bed as she felt Aubrey stand close to her, watching Chloe’s response. 

‘Oh, hi Bree, what are you doing up here?’ Chloe asks, panic clearly filling her face so painfully obviously. 

‘Hey Chlo, Beca called me, she’s worried about you, so am I.’ Aubrey stated calmly, the ginger glanced between the two girls before plastering on a fake smile. 

‘Well I don’t know why Beca is worried, or why she called you, I’m fine. There is nothing wrong.’ Chloe states, setting the icing bag down on the counter. 

‘Chloe, please, you don’t look well, you’re not very well, we can get you help.’ Aubrey says, moving closer to the ginger who has started to shake. 

‘Bree, there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m fine.’ Chloe exclaims, leaning on the counter for support. 

‘I told her about last night, about what’s been happening for the last few months, you need help Chlo-’ The brunette began to say before being cut off. 

‘I don’t know what you think has been happening for the last few months, and last night, Amy just wound me up, but I am fine. There is nothing wrong with me.’ The ginger bluntly states, the anger and fear clear in her voice. 

‘Chlo- please, we, we love you, we just want to-’

‘No! I don’t’ need help from either of you, or from anyone, I’M FINE!’ Chloe shouts, slamming her one hand on the counter and running her other through her hair. The ginger begins to move towards the door but before she can even make it past the kitchen table, the blonde has moved and cornered her, gently placing her hands on the shaking shoulders of the small girl. 

‘Chloe, you can try to deny it all you want, but I know you used to have anorexia, and I know that it has come back now, please, we just want to help you.’ Aubrey states, looking into the terrified blue eyes that are filled with tears. 

‘Please just let us help you’.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for all your support- I am really enjoying writing this story although it is quite emotionally draining! Just a little side note, I this story I have given Chloe 3 sisters (Jessica Beale aged 33- Played by Amy Adams, Katherine Beale aged 29- played by Isla Fisher and Olivia Beale aged 18- Played by Bella Thorne. Hope you guys liked this chapter and are staying safe! Much love!

‘Please just let us help you’ 

Chloe glanced into the pleading green eyes of Aubrey, then switched her gaze to the brunette stood firmly by the door, arms crossed over her chest and tears streaming down her face. How had she gotten to this point? 

‘You betrayed me.’ Chloe responds bluntly voice hoarse and shaking. She watches as Beca glances up to meet her gaze, face falling even more. 

‘Chloe, I don’t care what you say to me right now, you’re sick, I only called Aubrey because I was sacred, scared that something was going to happen to you.’ The brunette replies, locking the apartment door, and picking up both hers and the gingers sets of keys, shoving them into her pocket. 

‘Chloe, forget about who’s betrayed who, please just talk to us, let us help you.’ Chloe snaps her head back to the blonde who is still holding on tightly to her shoulders. 

‘How, how did you know, about, me, before?’ The ginger whispers, trying to not let Beca hear the conversation. 

‘You told me, when we were both drunk, freshman year.’ 

Flashback

‘Chloeeee I’m bored, Tom isn’t here, let’s go home.’ A 19-year-old, very drunk Aubrey pleaded, gripping on tightly to a small Chloe who is gazing out into the crowds at the accapella party.

‘Bree, he told Shawn, who told Katie, who told me, that he was coming, I just want to see him.’ Chloe responds, trying to shake the blondes tight grip on her hand off. 

‘But even if he is here, you’ll be too scared to talk to him. Please can we go, quick before Alice comes, I don’t want her making any comments.’ Aubrey begs, glancing into the crowded house. 

‘Okay, fine, but one day I will speak to him. I promise you.’ Chloe replies, finally allowing herself to be pulled through the packed sorority house and out into the cool late September night air. Aubrey smirks at the ginger girl before she rolls her eyes.

‘I’m starving Chloeeee, can we please go get food. Or, we could order some.’ Aubrey pleads, messily tugging off her shoes and flopping down onto her small bed, rolling over to watch the ginger struggling to pull her jacket off. 

‘You can order food, I’m not hungry.’ Chloe states, eventually managing to get her jacket off and letting it flop onto the floor next to here. Aubrey raises her eyebrows in confusion, eyes scanning the smaller girl. 

‘You didn’t eat anything for dinner tonight. You should have something.’ Aubrey states, pulling out her phone. 

‘Yeah I wasn’t, wasn’t hungry.’ Aubrey barely hears the ginger murmur the response as she scrolls down the list of food options, not being able to decide between McDonald's or Taco Bell.

‘Hmm, well I think you should eat something. You’ve had a lot to drink.’ 

‘Nah I’m good, I used to have a, um, issue with food, so like, takeaways, they are, um, they are, hard, still.’ Chloe mumbles, Aubrey glances up from her phone and see’s the ginger still lying on her back, hands neatly folded at her lower stomach, staring at the ceiling. 

‘Oh- right, well I think-’

‘Do you think Tom even knows my name, I mean he is super-hot and according to Brittany, who heard it from Jared, Tom is single.’ The ginger cuts off the blonde with her constant questions and thoughts about Tom. 

‘I don’t know Chlo, but my food is gonna be here in 15 minutes, so I’m gonna grab a quick shower.’ Aubrey replies, almost forgetting the quiet confession the ginger had just made to her. 

Aubrey walks somewhat cautiously to the shower block, head still swirling from the tequila shots she and Chloe had done. The blonde pondered for a moment, thinking back to Chloe’s confession, should she be worried about her roommate. Aubrey knew a girl in her high school who had anorexia, she remembers the day the girl fainted in gym class, fell to the floor with an ungraceful thud. Chloe wasn’t like that, not the blonde knew all that much about her roommate, it was probably nothing to worry about. She sees Chloe eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner on most days and Chloe seems perfectly healthy, but maybe she should just keep an eye on the ginger, just in case. 

End Of Flashback

‘Oh, I don’t remember that happening.’ Chloe states, trying desperately to blink away the tears she knows are forming in her eyes. 

‘Yeah I gathered that, you never brought it up again and you seemed fine, so I didn’t think it was a big deal.’ Aubrey stated calmly, still keeping a firm grip onto the ginger, but glad the tension in the room has slowly started to decrease. The blonde takes a chance, now that Chloe seems a bit distracted by the knowledge that she knew the whole time, by guiding the smaller woman over to the pull-out bed, eyeing the brunette out of the way. Beca obliges immediately, grateful that Chloe doesn’t seem quite as defensive as before. Aubrey pushes Chloe down onto the bed, instantly sitting next to her and taking her cold, frail hand in her own. 

‘It wasn’t until I came home with you that Christmas, and your mood completely changed,’ Aubrey stated, glancing up at Beca who takes a seat at the kitchen table, clearly letting the blonde take charge of the conversation. 

‘You were acting all weird about food, and so was your whole family. After food you disappeared upstairs saying you were going for a nap, I stayed to help your mom and Jessica clean up and your mom asked me if you were okay at college, whether you were eating. She looked really worried, so I said as far as I knew you were eating. Your mom asked me if I knew, I mentioned that I worked it out and she seemed relieved and asked me to keep an eye on you. Jess explained to me how bad it was Chlo, I wish you felt you could have told me back then and now.’ Aubrey stated drawn gentle circles on the small hand, gazing up to meet the eyes of Chloe. 

‘I’m sorry.’ Chloe mumbles, tears rolling down her cheeks, her whole body shaking as she lets herself be engulfed into a hug from the blonde, who wraps her arms around her best friend, whispering in her ear calming mantras. Aubrey’s gaze flickers over to the brunette who is wiping her own tears and offers a small sad smile to Aubrey. 

After about 15 minutes, Chloe’s crying subsides and the blonde realises she has fallen asleep, Aubrey gently lies her down on the bed and covers her with a blanket. 

‘Shall I make us a cup of tea?’ The blonde asks, looking at an equally exhausted Beca, who nods. 

‘That went, better than I thought it would.’ Beca mumbled, bringing her knees up to chest and resting her head on top of them. 

‘Yeah, it definitely did, but we need to talk to her about what’s been happening more recently.’ Aubrey stated, grabbing two mugs down and waiting for the kettle to boil. 

‘I just can’t believe I missed it, I mean, how stupid am I, we live together for god sake. I should have noticed, it’s so obvious now that I know, look at her, she looks emaciated.’ Beca mumbled, motioning over to the sleeping ginger girl. Aubrey nods, stirring around the milk before walking over to the kitchen table and taking a seat next to the brunette. 

‘I don’t get how someone can do that to themselves, anybody. But Chloe, I mean, she’s Chloe, she’s perfect, she’s gorgeous, funny, smart, kind, caring. She’s like the best person in the world- no offense. How could she do this to herself, how can she starve herself and exercise herself into oblivion. I don’t get it, I want to understand, but I can’t. She’s, she’s Chloe, she’s perfect and I-’ Beca hesitates at the feel on a hand being placed above her own and switches her gaze to Aubrey’s soft eyes, who is nodding slightly. 

‘I don’t get it either, I don’t think you will until you go through it yourself. But I know how you feel about Chloe-’

‘What do you mean how I feel about Chloe?’ Beca asks surprised and slightly worried at the blondes phrasing of the sentence.  
‘Well, what I mean is, I know you have a massive toner for her, I’ve known ever since you turned up to that audition, probably before you even knew. You and Chloe are inevitable.’ The blonde says with a smirk, taking a sip of her cup of tea. 

‘Right okay, well there’s no point denying it.’ Beca murmurs, still in shock that the blonde knew. 

‘But Beca, you can’t tell her now, she needs you, to be her friend right now.’ Aubrey states seriously. 

Beca nods, agreeing with the older woman, she’s only been waiting what 4 years to tell the girl, she can wait a while longer- assuming that Chloe will forgive her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to write. Hope you are all doing well? Thank you for all your support with this story- I am also working on two more Bechloe stories and one Grey's Anatomy story. However I am very busy with work at the moment so they won't be out for a while yet!  
> As always please comment and all of that stuff! Enjoy!

‘Bree what are you doing?’ The brunette whispers, confusion filling her as she watches the blonde quietly rummaging through Chloe’s bedside table. 

‘She has to have kept a diary or something- there must be something here that will tell us when this all started.’ Aubrey states not even glancing up from pushing around Chloe’s underwear in her drawer. 

‘What do you mean? Why do you need that?’ Beca asks slowly standing up from the kitchen table and taking the two empty mugs over to the sink. 

‘I mean- Chloe is probably going to wake up and deny that any of this is a problem, But if we have proof or evidence of some sort we can show here that we know how bad it is.’ The blonde states, before moving over to the other side of the bed, trying to not wake the sleeping ginger lying in the centre of it. 

Beca nods, finding this whole situation uncomfortable- should they really be looking for proof of Chloe’s self- starvation? It was pretty obvious to anybody looking at the girl what has been happening. Can’t Chloe see what she is doing to herself? Does she know but not care? Beca spins around at the tugging of her squeaky bedside table. 

‘Why are you looking in my bedside table- I would know if it was in there- Aubrey just stop! It’s not in there.’ The brunette states, immediately getting flustered. The blonde stops her tugging and stands up straight offering a smirk to the smaller girl. 

‘Okay damn- didn’t know you were little miss private. What have you got in there? A vibrator?’ Aubrey smirked, causing the brunette to turn a bright shade of red and palms to grow sweaty. 

‘What no- of-’ 

‘Oh my God Beca, chill. I was teasing.’ Aubrey stated chuckling quietly before sighing, hands planting on her hips. Beca turns back around to the sink, filling it with warm soapy water. Rolling her eyes at the sound of the blonde walking across the apartment and into their bathroom. Once the brunette finishes the few the dishes she turns around and glances at Chloe- still fast asleep on the bed, hair messy over her face. Beca still in complete shock at what has happened, or what had happening for the last few months- right underneath her nose. 

‘Beca.’ The brunette flinched out of her haze at the weirdly calm and collected voice of Aubrey calling her from the bathroom. Beca placed the dish cloth down and silently made her way into the bathroom, scrunching her eyes in confusion at the sight she is met with. Aubrey sat on the floor, a weighing scales she didn’t even know they owned next to her, boxes of laxatives and diet pills- mostly empty and the blonde clutching a book. 

‘Wait- Should we really be reading that? I mean it’s pretty personal, and Chloe will be really hurt.’ The brunette states, glancing down and Aubrey. 

‘Chloe is already hurt. But Beca- this is much worse than I thought.’ Aubrey says, voice wavering and trembling. Beca sighs immediately sitting down next to the blonde and taking a look at the diary or journal. 

‘So, what’s happening with you? Any news?’ Beca asks, clutching the cup of coffee that she had made for both her and Aubrey, whilst they wait for Chloe to wake.  
‘Not really- work is stress full, but that’s about it.’ Aubrey sates, taking a sip of the coffee and glancing over at Chloe in the bed.  
‘She will get better Bree right?’ Beca asks, following Aubrey’s gaze- desperately trying to hold back the tears threatening to escape.  
‘I think she will- I mean she’s beaten it once before. But I think she will always struggle with this. Like how recovered drug addicts always have to fight off temptation- no matter how far they come in their sobriety they have to keep fighting for it- every single day.’ Aubrey states, closing her eyes and resting her head in her hand. 

Beca nods still not understanding what Chloe is going through at all but knowing that she will need all the help in the world. 

‘Beca?’ Both the brunette and the blonde snap their eyes open at the quiet voice of Chloe calling the younger girl. They both watch as Chloe slowly sits up, rubbing her eyes and running her hands through her knotty hair. 

‘Hey Chlo, how are you feeling? Do you want a drink or anything?’ Beca asks, instantly standing up and making her way over to the ginger. 

‘Water. Please.’ Chloe mumbles, bringing her knees up to chest, avoiding eye contact with both of the girls. 

Aubrey stands and pours Chloe a glass of water and swiftly moves her way to the opposite side of the bed to Beca and holds out the glass to Chloe. Worry and fear filling her when Chloe’s pale, fragile and trembling hand reaches out and grasps tightly on the glass. 

‘Chloe, we’ve been talking, and we think you need to got the hospital. We are both very worried about you and just want to make sure you are okay.’ Aubrey states gently, sitting down on the bed next to the ginger who shakes her head after taking a sip of her drink.

‘I don’t want to go to the hospital. It was just a blip. I’m fine.’ Chloe states, plastering on a fake smile glancing at Aubrey who offers the ginger a sad smile. 

‘Bullshit!’ Beca’s voice calls out sternly, surprising Chloe and Aubrey who both snap their attention to the brunette who is stood at the foot of the bed, arms folded and expression angry. 

‘Beca- just please don’t say-’ Aubrey states, trying to keep a lid on the whole situation. 

‘Don’t what? Don’t say how we all know that Chloe is killing herself? Don’t say how if she doesn’t get help soon she will die? What do you want me to do? Just stand her and wait for her to drop dead? I’m sorry Bree, but I can’t do that.’ Beca states, tears falling down her face as she furiously wipes them away. The brunette makes her way over to the side of the bed and reaches for Chloe’s hand, forcing the ginger to look at her. 

‘Chloe you need help. Proper help. You cannot just brush this under the carpet.’ Beca states, gently squeezing Chloe’s hand. 

‘I, I don’t think I can do it.’ Chloe mumbles, tears spilling down her face as she bows her head. 

‘You don’t have to do it on your own, I will help you. Aubrey will be there, your family will be there. You are not on your own.’ Beca states, kneeling slightly at the edge of the bed and glancing at a crying Aubrey. Beca furrows her eyebrows when she gains no response from the ginger, panic when she realises the ginger is hyperventilating. Beca looks up at a just as concerned Aubrey. 

‘Chlo?’ Aubrey asks, pulling the ginger gently by the arm. 

‘Bree something doesn’t feel right. I… I can’t…breathe…my…..my…..chest….my…heart….it…. it hurts.’ Chloe pants, eyes rolling into the back of her head. Beca watches in horror as Chloe continues to pant, face turning a funny grey colour.

‘Okay, okay. I’ve got you. Take some deep breaths for me. Chloe?’ Aubrey states, fear rising as she realises Chloe has fallen unconscious. 

‘Beca call an ambulance now!’


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sorry for the lack of an update. There has been some things going on my life that has made it basically impossible to write. As some of you know I am a medical student here in the UK and started working on an ITU ward during the coronovirus outbreak. Unfortunately at the beginning of June I ended up contracting the virus and actually spent just under 3 weeks in an ITU ward myself on a ventilator. I have never been more frightened or scared for my life as I have been in those moments, my memory is pretty vague but I know I felt like death. It has been a long process but I have slowly recovered and gaining a sense of normality, and I am now well on the way to being completely back to normal. So yes, here is the next chapter, this was very hard to write but I hope I got the emotional state of Beca across well. I also may have put in a few notes to Grey's anatomy, my new favourite obsession! I am planning on having the next chapter up within the week. Thank you for all your support, I hope you like this chapter!

The brunette stood in complete shock- the world around her passing by both in slow motion and speeding. People everywhere, doctors running after gurneys, nurses running with various items, people crying, screaming, being sick. Beca couldn’t believe that she, no. That they, were here. It all happened so fast, Beca calling the ambulance, Chloe stopping breathing, Aubrey needing to start CPR, then them being rushed into an ambulance. Now she’s here, and Beca feels as though her whole world is ending. As soon as they entered the hospital the doors had swung shut on Beca and Aubrey’s face, now neither of them had a clue what was going on with Chloe, is she was okay. Or is she was even alive. 

‘I’ve just spoken to her mum, they are getting on the next flight, they’ll be here as soon as possible’ Aubrey’s voice calls out, snapping Beca out of her trance. The brunette nods, standing still, not being able to move in the middle of a busy ER. 

‘Becs, come, come sit down.’ The blonde states, gently gripping the smaller woman’s arm and pulling her gently towards the seats in the waiting room. Both women sit there in silence, neither of them knowing what to say. What is there to say? Look at the situation they are in. 

The blonde glances towards the brunette, notices her slightly trembling, small, sharp breaths escaping her mouth, as a few tears roll down her cheek. 

‘Beca-’ Aubrey starts before being cut off by the brunette. 

‘I’ve let her down. I should have noticed. I should have said something the minute she started acting weird. I’ve let her down Aubrey. If, if she- if something happens to Chloe, its my fault.’ Beca mumbles, voice shaking and quiet. 

‘Beca, this is nobodies fault okay. Not yours, not Chloe’s- nobodies. We all should have seen Chloe was struggling, but its hard. Chloe is going to be fine, and she’s going to get better, and this, this will all be a drop in the ocean.’ Aubrey responds, clasping the shaking brunettes hands. 

‘Her parents are going to hate me. Look at what I’ve done to their daughter.’ Beca responds blankly, shaking her head and sniffling.

‘No, they are not- Ellen and Derek have been through this with Chloe before. You did not do this to Chloe- Chloe done this to herself because she was clearly struggling or couldn’t cope. It is not your fault Beca, I promise you, it is not your fault.’ The blonde states, squeezing the brunettes hands gently. Beca opens her mouth to responds, before a voice calls out. 

‘Chloe Beale?’ Both Aubrey and Beca immediately jump to their feet and rush towards the female woman clutching onto each other. 

‘Is one of you Beca Mitchell?’ The woman wearing dark navy scrubs asks. Beca quickly nods, anxiety slowly bubbling inside of her. 

‘You are down as one of miss Beale’s emergency contacts, and you came in with her in the ambulance yes?’ 

‘Yeah, yes. Is she- is she okay?’ Beca asks desperately wanting to know, but terrified if Chloe wasn’t. 

‘I’m Dr. Grey- Chloe is stable, but critical. She suffered from a heart attack which lead to her going into cardiac arrest. Thankfully CPR was given immediately which saved her life. We have managed to keep her stable, she is on various different drugs and a breathing tube, but the prognosis is good.’ Dr Grey states, glancing down at her folder of notes. Both girls instantly let out a breath of relief, Beca feels her legs turn to jelly when she hears that Chloe is going to be okay- but clutches onto Aubrey tighter. 

‘I wanted to discuss with you the cause of Chloe’s heart attack. As you can imagine for a normally fit and well 24-year-old, having a heart attack is extremely rare. However, Chloe is severely dehydrated and there is evidence of malnutrition. Has Chloe been struggling recently with food?’ The doctor asks, Beca glances up at the blonde, not having energy to explain. 

‘Yes, we were actually in the process of trying to convince her to seek help when she collapsed. Chloe’s suffered from anorexia before, when she was a teenager, and I guess she’s been struggling more recently.’ Aubrey explained voice unsteady and hoarse. 

‘I see, I will give psych a call to come and assess her within the next few hours. In the meantime, I’m going to pop her on some fluids to help with her electrolytes. I can take you through to see her now if you would like. She is still unconscious, but we are expecting her to wakeup within the next hour?’ Doctor Grey states, offering both women a sad smile. 

The blonde eagerly nods, taking a step forward to follow the Doctor, but stops at the lack of movement from Beca. 

‘Beca?’ Aubrey questions, brows furrowing in confusion. 

‘I… I can’t. I can’t see her like that. She hates me. This is my fault.’ Beca states emotionless, staring down at the floor. Aubrey sighs, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

‘Bec’s-’

‘No, it’s okay. You go to Chloe, I’m going to get some fresh air. I’m fine.’ Beca mumbles, running a hand through her hair before walking back through the ER room entrance, not waiting to hear the blondes objections. 

The brunette sighs leaning against the wall, taking deep breaths, the image of a lifeless Chloe on the floor of their apartment, shirt ripped open, and Aubrey giving CPR flashing through her head. The nausea clawed at her throat, and she tried to force down the bile, but it was too late. Chunks of partially digested chicken spewed out of her coughing, choking mouth. Her stomach kept on contracting violently and forcing everything up and out. Her face was white and dripping bile, sweat, and tears. She lurched forward and sunk to her knees. 

‘Oh my gosh, are you okay?’ A voice calls out gently behind the brunette. 

‘Wow, stupid question- do you need me to take you into the ER?’ The same voice calls out, somewhat closer now. Beca shakes her head before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, embarrassment quickly taking over. The brunette spins around and is met with a middle-aged woman with dark brown hair, sporting a doctors uniform. 

‘Um, sorry about that. I’m fine.’ Beca mumbles, voice shaking. 

‘Hey, it’s okay- I mean I’ve seen a lot worse? Did you bring yourself her?’ The woman asks looking around. 

‘I’m actually here with my friend, she was brought in by an ambulance.’ The brunette states, clenching her trembling hands together. 

‘Oh, I’m sorry- is she? Is she okay?’

‘I think so, I mean they said she is stable but mentally, I don’t think she is okay at all.’ Beca blurts out, surprised at herself for being so open with this complete stranger.

‘Oh, right. Have you gone to see her?’ Sorry I don’t mean to pry.’ The woman says folding her arms. Beca shakes her head, glancing down at the floor again. 

‘I’m scared. It’s my fault. I should have seen how bad things had gotten. I should have don-’

‘There is nothing you could or should have done. All you can do now is be there for your friend. You cannot change the past, but you can help and support her now in the future, and by the sounds of it she’s going to need you now more than ever.’ The woman says with a kind smile. Beca nods, wiping a stray tear that’s fallen down her face. 

‘I just cant lose her. I can’t.’ Beca whispers barely audible, but the other woman hears her and glances up with a small sad smile. 

‘You don’t have too- just be there for her. Listen to her, love her through and despite everything she’s going through.’ The doctor says gently squeezing Beca’s arm before a ringing goes off. 

‘Sorry I have to go- I hope everything is okay with your friend.’ The woman says as she turns and rushes back into the busy hospital. 

Beca takes a deep breath, hands shaking and heart pounding, feet metaphorically stuck to the ground outside of Chloe’s room. You can do this. 

Beca takes one final breath before opening the door to the gingers room and immediately gasps at the sight in front of her. There in a hospital bed was her best friend, the woman she had been in love with since the moment she had seen her, tubes and wires coming out of her body. Machines beeping and alerting. Chloe looked… Beca couldn’t quite describe her, but she looked broken, her face pale and gaunt, sunken in eyes and cheeks. Her usually bright and bouncy hair hung limp around her protruding collarbones. Beca glanced at the blonde who was holding on tightly to the frail hand of her best friend with tears in her eyes. 

‘Beca- are you okay?’ Aubrey asks quietly. Why was the blonde asking her that question, when Chloe was lying in a hospital bed? Beca nods hesitantly, nothing about this situation was okay. 

‘Chloe woke up about 20 minutes ago, so they took out her breathing tube, she fell back asleep pretty much straight away. She was out of it any way, they have her on a mild sedative- until the can assess her.’ Aubrey states, gently rubbing her thumb over the top of the pale one beneath hers. Beca nods not really listening to anything the blonde is saying, attention fixated on the broken woman lying in the bed before her. 

‘Are you okay to stay with her a moment- I’m going to update her parents?’ Aubrey asks pulling Beca out of her trance. Beca nods and watches as Aubrey leans over and gently plants a kiss on Chloe’s forehead before squeezing Beca’s arm and walking out of the room. Beca takes the blondes place and sits down in the uncomfortable plastic chair, cautiously taking the gingers cold hand, blinking away the tears. 

‘Chlo, I don’t know what to say. I guess all I can say is how sorry I am. How sorry I didn’t see how much you needed me, or someone. I am sorry I didn’t see how much you were struggling. I’m sorry I worked so many late nights, or that when I did come home I would just go to bed. I never thought you were struggling this much. I am sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me that this was going on, or that you had struggled before. I know I’m a bit crap with feelings, but I could have helped. Chloe, you have to get better, I know its going to be hard, but please this wasn’t how things were supposed to happen. Nothing about this situation is okay. Please Chloe.’ Beca whispers, tears rolling down her face, glancing at the floor. Beca switches her gaze up when she feels Chloe’s hand twitch and sees her eyes flutter open.

‘Beca?’ Chloe mumbles, voice limp and dry. 

‘Hey, it’s me, you’re okay, you’re in the hospital.’

Beca watches anxiously as she see’s Chloe quickly gain a sense of her surroundings and the medicine they are pumping into her, she also watches as Chloe seems to grow more and more agitated.

‘Chlo don’t pull on that-’

‘I don’t need this in me! Get it out! I don’t need to be here! I am not sick!’ Chloe’s voice causes Beca to wince as she realises that Chloe is rapidly growing angrier. 

‘Why don’t I get the doctor and then we can have a chat yeah?’ Beca states get more terrified of the state of Chloe. Beca stands up, edging closer to the door, watching Chloe closely, as the ginger starts pulling the wires off herself, blood immediately dripping from her arm. 

‘Help, can I get some help please!’ Beca calls into the busy ER room, as she watches Chloe completely loose it. Immediately three doctors start running in, Dr. Grey another younger looking woman and a man with ginger hair. 

‘Chloe its Dr Grey, you need to calm down for me, your in the hospital, you had a heart attack. We need all of these wires to give you medicine.’ Dr Grey’s calm voice echoes through the room, Beca watches as she gently grips Chloe’s hands that are still pulling on wires. 

‘You’re just trying to make me fat! All of this stuff its poisoning me!’ Chloe screams helplessly, tears running down her face as Beca watches on in terror.

‘No, these are giving you medicine for your heart. You are really sick at the moment Chloe.’ Dr Grey states matter of factly, looking into Chloe’s eyes. 

Beca watches as Chloe switches her gaze and looks at Beca, causing the brunette to choke on her tears. 

‘This is all your fault’ are the last ringing words Beca remembers before everything goes black and she feels her legs crumble to the ground.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you for all of your lovely comments about what i talked about in the previous chapters. This story is slowly coming to an end, I think there will be around 6/7 more chapters. I hope you like this chapter. Thank you for all your support, if anybody has any ideas for this story or future stories I am more than happy to read them. Much love.

A loud beeping noise slowly stirs the brunette, eyes fluttering open, being met with the harsh bright light of the hospital. Memories of everything flooding back instantly, Beca glances around the small cubicle, Aubrey sat on a chair next to the bed, texting on her phone. Beca watches as the blonde glances up, immediately putting her phone down when she realises that Beca is awake. 

‘Beca, your awake! You fainted.’ Aubrey states moving closer to the bed. Beca nods, not really remembering actually fainting, all she can recall is Chloe getting in a state. God Chloe- was she okay? 

‘Chloe? Is she okay?’ Beca mumbled, her voice dry from the lack of fluid. 

‘Chloe was in quite a state when she woke up, they have sedated her again. So, she’s asleep at the moment. Are you okay?’ The blonde asks, raising her eyebrows gently. 

‘Oh, okay. Yeah I’m okay, I don’t know what came over me.’ The brunette murmurs glancing at the machine that beeps rhythmically. 

‘Hi, I’m Dr Wilson, I was in the room when you fainted.’ A female voice calls out as both women glance up and see a youngish brunette Dr walk through the curtain. 

‘Hi, is Beca okay? What happened?’ The blonde immediately says, worry evident in her voice. 

‘Yes, Beca is fine. From your blood tests it looks like a case of dehydration. When was the last time you ate something?’ Dr Wilson asks, clutching her clipboard. 

The brunette instantly feels her stomach drop, when had been the last time she ate? She had been so wrapped up in Chloe, the brunette never ate the Chinese food Amy ordered last night, she also hadn’t eaten anything today. The brunette glanced sheepishly at a glaring blonde. 

‘Yesterday morning, I ate porridge for breakfast.’ Beca claims, feeling like a naughty five-year-old. Aubrey immediately sighs and leans on the bed, shaking her head slightly at Beca. 

‘Well that would explain it. I’m going to prescribe you a large meal and a large bottle of water, otherwise you are free to go.’ Dr Wilson says with a small smile, noticing the exchange between the two women. 

Beca smiles nodding slightly as she watches the woman walk behind the curtain. 

‘Look, I know what you are going to say. I’m sorry okay, I just got distracted by everything going on with Chloe and like forgot to eat.’ The brunette states, offering the blonde the most genuine smile she can muster up. Aubrey’s stern expression somewhat relaxes, and she sighs. 

‘Okay fine. But you need to remember to look after yourself too Bec.’ Aubrey states, gently squeezing the small girls arm. 

2 hours later

Beca flinches her head away from the still sedated ginger lying in the hospital bed, to the door opening. Beca immediately recognised the older couple as Mr and Mrs Beale, followed by Chloe’s two older sisters, Jessica and Katherine. Beca watches as Aubrey instantly stands up from the opposite side of the bed and swiftly moves to embrace the older female. Beca has met the Beale clan numerous times, constantly receiving invites to spend holidays and special occasions with the family- basically if Chloe went home for anything, Beca was always invited. But now, Beca could hardly look any of them in the eye, even though she classed them like her own family. The brunette was terrified that Ellen and Derek would think she’s failed their daughter, deep down Beca knows she has, she should have noticed- despite what Aubrey has been trying to say, Beca should have known. 

Beca sits uncomfortably as the room fills with tension and hushed conversations, the blonde updating the family on as much as she can, before stating she’ll go and grab Dr. Grey to talk to them all. The brunette sits there, having not spoken a word to any of Chloe’s family, softly stroking the back of the gingers hand. 

‘Beca, it’s good to see you. Even in these circumstances.’ Ellen’s quiet voice call’s out, the brunette flinches when she feels a hand lightly on her shoulder. Beca glances into familiar pools of icy blue, so similar to Chloe’s it almost takes the brunette’s breath away. 

‘I’m sorry’ is all the brunette can mumble before tears are running down her face and the smaller girl is instantly engulfed into a tight hug by the older woman. 

Almost instantly Aubrey reappears at the door with Dr. Grey, stating how she will give the family a full update in the relatives room. All of Chloe’s family leave immediately and the blonde say’s something about updating Stacie. Beca nods finding herself alone with Chloe yet again. The brunette glances around the room, the pasty colour of the walls matching the sick feeling she hasn’t been able to shake since everything happened. Beca gazes down at Chloe, at their still entwined hands, as a few tears run down the tired brunettes face.

‘Chlo, I don’t even know if you can hear me right now.’ Beca whispers, voice shaking and tears rolling down her face. 

‘But, maybe that’s better. I don’t know what to say really, just I wish you could see what I see, what everybody sees when they look at you- and I’m not just talking about how hot you are because let’s face it, you’re hot. But I’m talking about the kindness that spills out of your eyes, the love that just fills your body, the care and concern you carry for others, complete strangers. Chloe you are so loved, so, so loved. I’m not going to pretend I know what this is about, I don’t. I don’t get it, I don’t think I ever will fully. But all I can tell you is that your not alone, not by any means. I am here and not going anywhere, Aubrey is here, your family are here. We all just want the old Chloe back, the happy, silly and slightly weird Chloe back. I want that Chloe back, because that is the Chloe I fell in love with’ The brunette mumbles, wiping her running nose, gently drawing circles on the back of the gingers frail hand, not really realising that she had kind of just admitted her love to the ginger. 

Beca sighs leaning against the counter as she waits for the machine to make her a coffee, running her hand through her hair, trying to have any serious conversation with Fat Amy was draining enough. But the brunette had managed to update the blonde on Chloe, Amy saying something about going to visit Cynthia Rose and Stacie for a bit. Beca wasn’t really paying that much attention. 

‘Hey’ the brunette turns and faces Jessica, Chloe’s oldest sister walking towards her, face red and puffy.

‘Oh, hi.’ Beca mumbles awkwardly. It’s not that she doesn’t like Jess, Beca just cant help but think they will all blame Beca for this happening. 

‘They said Chloe is going to be waking up soon.’ The older woman says, running a hand through her ginger hair. Beca nods, taking her cup of coffee.

‘What’s going to happen now?’ Beca asks, cradling the warm cup between her hands. 

‘Well Mum and dad were speaking to the Doctors, and basically Chloe has to go to a treatment centre, she can either go voluntarily, or they will section her.’ Jess says voice tired and shaking. Beca nods, slightly stunned that it has come this far. 

‘I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.’ The smaller girl states, staring intensely at the floor.

‘Beca- none of us noticed. It isn’t your fault, you didn’t know she struggled before.’ Jessica says, gently grabbing the younger girls arm. Beca nods slightly, wiping yet another tear that’s rolled down her cheek. 

‘Is this as bad as she was before?’ Beca mumbles.

‘I mean, when she was younger it went on for a lot longer before any of us noticed. This happened quite fast, but if I’m being honest, I think is worse than before.’ Jessica states, sighing. Beca takes a deep breath in, wanting to hear more about when Chloe struggled before. However, they are interrupted at the sound of a vibrating phone, the ginger glances down at her phone.

‘It’s Kath- Chloe is awake.’ Jessica says before both women turn to walk down the corridor, back to Chloe. 

Beca and Aubrey sit outside Chloe’s room, anxiously waiting to hear what’s happening. Chloe’s parents, sisters and two doctors are currently talking to Chloe about treatment, and from what they can both hear it’s not going well. After about 25 minutes the door eventually swings open, Dr. Grey and a male doctor walks out, followed by Ellen and Derek both looking extremely exhausted. Ellen manages a brief, small smile to both girls before quickly following the two doctors. Beca glances at the blonde sat next to her, did this mean Chloe had agreed to treatment? Soon after Chloe’s sisters leave the room, both having been crying a lot. Beca’s gazes switches to Jessica who nods softly. 

‘She agreed to treatment.’ Jessica states, both younger women let out a sigh of relief and Beca reaches for Aubrey’s hand, squeezing it gently. 

‘I’m going to call Mark, update him’ Jessica states, referring to her husband. 

‘Yeah, liv has called a bunch of times, I’m going to ring her.’ Katherine says, smiling at the two younger girls before wandering off to call the youngest Beale, Olivia. Chloe’s 19-year-old sister who is currently studying at UCLA. 

Beca watches as Aubrey immediately stands up and makes her way into the gingers room, ‘are you coming?’ The blonde asks, turning back around to face the smaller brunette. 

‘You go first.’ Beca motions, suddenly scared as to what she should say to the ginger now she’s awake. 

Aubrey soon reappears after spending about 15 minutes with the ginger, the blonde stands in the doorway, chest rapidly rising and falling, tears running down her cheeks. ‘She’s asking for you.’ The blonde manages to splutter out in between small sobs. Beca nods and nervously stands up, palms sweating. Beca watches the blonde murmur something about going to the toilet and calling Stacie before vanishing down the corridor. 

Beca slowly walks into the ginger’s room, where Chloe is sat upright in her bed, eyes red rimmed and puffy. 

‘Hey’ Beca whispers, anxiously rubbing her hands together.

‘Hi.’ Chloe mumbles, eyes flickering over to the brunette stood in her doorway.

Beca hesitantly walks over and takes a seat next to the bed, instantly reaching out for the gingers hand. 

‘You don’t have to say anything Bec- I heard you when I was asleep.’ The ginger says softly, Beca’s gaze switches from their hands to Chloe’s eyes, her own immediately glassing over with tears at the realisation that Chloe knows Beca is in love with her. 

Chloe nods tears running down her face, a small smile on her face. 

‘I, um. I feel the same. But I guess now isn’t the right time-’ Chloe states, voice shaking and quiet. 

Beca swallows the lump that’s formed in her throat, and nods gently. Not really able to find the words to say what she wants to the ginger. Instead the brunette stands up from her chair and pulls the older woman into a weird side hug, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. They soon break the hug and Beca looks into Chloe’s eyes, the same eyes she has looked into for years, but suddenly everything is different.

Beca sighs, leaning her forehead against the gingers and whispers quietly

‘You are titanium.’


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys- a bit of a longer update here for you. Thank you for all of your lovely comments on my last chapter. I know this story has been pretty dark and bleak, I really wanted to depict the reality of struggling with an eating disorder, and watching someone you love struggling with an eating disorder. This chapter is a lot more hopeful than the others so I hope you like it. I also really wanted to add more of a relationship with Aubrey and Beca as them two as close friends always just makes so much sense to me? Anyways hope you like it. 
> 
> More notes at the end.

*3 weeks later*

‘Beca please calm down! Oh my god you’re making me feel sick!’ Aubrey’s cries fill the empty apartment through Beca’s iPhone, as the brunette paces back and forth mumbling a load of nonsense. 

‘But Bree, what am I supposed to say to her? What am I supposed to ask? Do we talk about it?’ Beca’s rapid and frantic voice calls out, a hand anxiously pushing her hair out of her face. 

‘Beca sit down! Just say anything, talk about work, what you watched last night on TV. It doesn’t matter it’s just Chloe.’ Aubrey’s calm voice states as Beca finally takes a seat on the edge of the bed, that used to belong to a Amy, but the blonde has temporarily moved out of the apartment. Something about her going travelling again? Beca never pays much attention to her, so Beca has taken over the proper bed. 

‘But it’s not just Chloe, it’s never been ‘just Chloe’ never.’ Beca mumbles quietly, picking at her fingernails. She hears the blonde sigh and glances into Aubrey’s eyes, as the blonde shakes her head slightly. 

‘Just go with what Chloe does and feels comfortable, if she wants to talk to about anything don’t be an awkward shrew.’ Aubrey replies with a smirk, at which Beca rolls her eyes and pierces her lips. 

‘Yeah I guess, did her parents say how she’s doing?’ Beca asks, heart pounding. 

‘Yeah I spoke to her mom this morning, they visited her a couple of days ago, she seems to be doing better. They said she’s finally engaging properly in therapy and has moved down a level of supervision around meal times, and has gained visitor rights. So that’s all positive.’ Aubrey says with a breath of relief. Beca nods and glances out of the window. It has been the longest she has ever gone without speaking, talking or seeing her best friend, since they first met. After Chloe agreed to treatment, everything happened so fast, and the next thing Beca remembers is standing in an empty apartment with Aubrey making her dinner. 3 weeks later and things have gone back to normal, except that Beca comes home to an empty apartment every night from work, more often than not choosing to stay late in work- which always gets her in trouble with the blonde. That is another thing that has changed, her relationship with Aubrey. After the whole fiasco of Beca’s freshman year at Barden, her and Aubrey got on ‘okay’, they kind of accepted and got on with each other because of Chloe. But since everything that happened with Chloe, Beca has realised that she actually gets on quite well with the blonde, Aubrey texts her everyday to check she’s okay, and they face time at least twice a week for a proper chat. It’s weird that only now Beca would class Aubrey as a close friend, she was always family, but now they actually get on, again because of Chloe. 

‘That’s good, when did you say you were coming up to visit her?’ Beca asks, suddenly feeling slightly less nervous. 

‘Next week, I can’t get time off till then. But just tell her I love her so much and that I am so proud of her.’ Aubrey replies with a sad smile. Beca nods and they soon end the call with Beca promising to call the blonde as soon as she’s on the train home. 

Beca nervously fumbles with her bag as she steps off the train, getting ready to make the short walk to the treatment facility. The brunette glances around at the nice area, filled with big driveways to impressive houses and green trees everywhere, a striking difference to their Brooklyn apartment. Beca rounds the corner and starts walking up the stony path and can immediately spot a familiar ginger sat by a big bay window, glancing out. Beca’s nerves immediately disappear when she realises it’s Chloe, the ginger suddenly vanishes from the window, and Beca suddenly wonders if the ginger has changed her mind about wanting to see her. But then the front door opens abruptly, and Chloe starts running towards Beca, and then Beca finds herself engulfed into a tight hug, that nearly knocks her off her feet. 

Home. 

Home. That’s what Beca feels like when she tightly wraps her arms around Chloe, taking in her familiar strawberry and vanilla shampoo. Beca release a sigh of relief when she realises that there is slightly more to Chloe than before, her ribs aren’t quite as prominent.   
‘I’ve missed you so much.’ Chloe whispers into Beca’s ear, Beca nods, not trusting her voice. After what seems like forever, the two women finally release their embrace and pull apart. Beca glances over Chloe’s face, still gaunt, not as pale, and the bags underneath her eyes have nearly gone. Beca’s gaze immediately switches to the tube coming out of Chloe’s nose, tucked behind her ear and dangling down. 

‘Sorry that’s my um, feeding tube, if I’m struggling with certain meals, they can put like substitute down it,’ Chloe mumbles, face flushing a deep shade of red in embarrassment. Beca shakes her head and shoves her own fear and awkwardness down before taking Chloe’s hands gently. 

‘Nothing to be sorry or embarrassed about. Nothing at all. How are you?’ Beca asks, squeezing the gingers hands, as Chloe looks up calmer now. 

‘I’m doing okay. It’s hard, but I’m working really hard. Shall we go in? I can give you a tour if you like, and then we can sit in the garden and chat?’ Chloe asks excitedly. Beca just nods and allows the ginger to pull her into the house. 

Chloe shows Beca most of the house, it isn’t actually that bad, not what Beca had imagined. Beca had also met quite a lot of the other people who live there, including Chloe’s roommate, Amelia, a 21-year-old girl that kind of reminds Beca of Emily. Throughout the whole tour Beca couldn’t quite push the feeling of uneasiness down. It was weird, the Chloe Beca imagines and remembers in her head is bizarre, funny, stupid and just Chloe. But the Chloe talking to her roommate in front of her is quieter, calmer, almost like a part of her has been sucked out. 

‘It was nice meeting you Beca.’ An unfamiliar voice calls out as Beca snaps her head back up to the younger girl stood smiling in front of her. 

‘Yeah, um nice to meet you too.’ Beca replies before watching the girl walk back down the corridor to hers and Chloe’s room. 

‘She seems nice.’ Beca mumbles, still clutching onto Chloe’s hand. 

‘Oh, she is, she’s lovely. Everybody is lovely.’ Chloe states excitedly as both women walk back downstairs and head towards the garden. 

‘All the Bella’s are sending their love and Aubrey told me to tell you that she will be up to visit you next week, and that she’s proud of you.’ Beca says as they both take a seat on the garden furniture overlooking the rest of the garden. 

‘That will be nice, I can’t wait to see her.’ Chloe says quietly, nervously fiddling with the sleeves of her top. A nervous silence takes over and Beca glances at Chloe, taking a deep breath. 

‘So how are things really?’ Beca asks, causing the ginger to look up in confusion. 

‘I told you Bec, I’m doing okay.’ Chloe states, raising her eyebrow in confusion. 

‘Chloe, I don’t know that much about eating disorders. But I have done loads of research, and 3 weeks ago you very nearly died. Those feelings don’t just go away. Please, you can be honest with me. Nothing you could ever say to me will change how I feel.’ Beca mumbles, feeling her face blush slightly at bringing up the elephant in the room. Chloe glances at Beca, and the brunette can see her ponder for a while before taking a deep breath. 

‘I know, I am still finding it hard to express how I’m actually feeling you know? But honestly I am doing loads better, I know I’ve still got a long way to go, and that I’m always going to struggle with this. But I want to get better. Being here, at first it was hard, I was just in a really dark place, but slowly things have started to heal.’ Chloe states, offering a small smile to Beca. The brunette nods and smiles back. 

‘Chloe you have no idea how proud I am of you. Not just for this, but for everything, and watching you suffer was honestly the worst thing I have ever experienced, knowing I couldn’t help or fix you. I’m not sure what you really remember from the hospital, but I just wanted to say sorry, again.’ Beca mumbles, trying to swallow the lump that’s formed in the back of her throat. 

‘Everything from the hospital is just a bit blurry, but why are you sorry?’ Chloe asks, voice wavering slightly. 

‘I should have known you were struggling, I should have seen how much you needed me, or anybody. I should have had the courage to ask you if you were okay sooner. I just feel like I’ve let you down.’ Beca states, wiping away the few tears that have started to fall. Chloe shakes her head and reaches over, grabbing Beca’s hands tightly. 

‘Beca, believe me you have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing at all. If anything, I should be apologising to you. I broke your trust and abused it. I am sorry I didn’t tell you or reach out too you. I’m sorry for getting angry at you for calling Aubrey. I’m sorry you had to see me in that state.’ Chloe says, with a sad smile on her face. 

‘Trust me, I think I’ve seen you in worse sates, one occasion, my junior year at the fall acapella mixer. How many shots of tequila did you do? 20?’ Beca says laughing slightly of the memory of Chloe being hunched over the toilet all night, basically in a comatose state. 

‘Hey! I wasn’t- okay fine, that was a practically bad one.’ Chloe replies laughing slightly, the tension surrounding them easing off slightly. 

The girls chat for a couple more hours, talking about anything and everything before Chloe notices Amelia coming through the glass patio doors. 

‘Sorry to interrupt its just that Nicola told me to come and get you to set up for dinner.’ Amelia says smiling slightly, Beca turns to face Chloe who’s face has immediately paled, and fear fills her eyes. 

‘Hey, it’s okay. You can do this. Look at me.’ 

‘You’ve got this okay. I believe in you. You are titanium Chloe never ever forget that.’ Beca whispers, leaning in closer to the ginger and wrapping her arms around her. 

Chloe soon walks Beca to the front entrance of the house, both girls holding on tightly to each other, neither wanting to be the first to let go. 

‘Right, well Aubrey is coming up next week and Stacie wants to visit at some point. Your parents and sisters will be up soon too yeah?’ Beca mumbles, looking into the cerulean blue eyes of Chloe, slowly filling with tears. Chloe nods slightly, sniffling as she squeezes Beca’s hand. 

‘Promise you’ll come back? Whenever your free?’ Chloe asks timidly glancing at Beca. 

‘You couldn’t stop me. I love you Chlo, so, so much.’ Beca states pulling the ginger in for a tight hug before eventually letting go and turning to walk out the door. 

Beca continues down the driveway of the house, not letting herself cry until she is sure Chloe has gone back inside, but the brunette can still feel the ginger staring at her back. Beca quickly turns her head around, and sure enough, Chloe is still stood by the door, hanging onto the frame, tears rolling freely down her checks. Beca sucks all her desire to want to run back to the ginger and waves slightly. 

‘Titanium!’ Beca shouts across the driveway, to which Chloe nods before offering the brunette small smile and stepping back into the house, closing the door behind her. 

Beca sighs setting her stuff down on the table as she turns a lamp on to offer some light to the eerily quiet and lifeless apartment. Just as Beca goes to reach for a takeout menu she hears her phone ringing from her bag, knowing instantly who it is, Beca reaches for the phone and takes a seat at the kitchen table. 

‘Hey Bree!’ Beca answers trying to sound positive, because really it had been a positive day, Chloe was, getting there, and they had had an honest chat about everything. Things were slowly starting to be patched up, but Beca couldn’t shake the same weird feeling she’s had all day. 

‘Hey Bec’s, how was it? How is she?’ Aubrey instantly asks, clearly very anxious. 

‘She’s okay Bree, it was, fine. Weird.’ Beca replies, resting her head in her hand not holding her phone. 

‘What do you mean weird? What does okay mean?’ the blonde bellows down the phone, Beca could tell she was getting annoyed by Beca’s lame response. 

‘It means, Chloe seems to be doing better, she looks a little bit better. She has a feeding tube but still seems very nervous about food, she nearly had a blip over dinner when I was there, but I think I helped. The place is nice, nice people there and Chloe’s roommate seems lovely. It’s just weird. Thinking of Chloe being in that place, the Chloe I know isn’t the Chloe I saw today. She looks broken still Bree.’ Beca mumbles, voice wavering slightly.   
‘Bec, its good that she looks better, and her mum said it was a nice place. It’s going to take a while for Chloe to be the Chloe we remember, and she might never be completely the same person she was and that’s okay. Maybe she did need to change slightly. But Beca she will be okay. Are you okay? You seem tired? Have you eaten today?’ Aubrey states sternly, causing Beca to chuckle softly. 

‘Yeah, I’m pretty exhausted, I ate this morning before leaving, and I was just about to order food.’ Beca states, rolling her eyes when she hears Aubrey let out a deep breath down the phone. 

‘Okay good. When I come up to visit Chloe I’ll come and see you too, I cant spend the night though, work and everything.’ Aubrey says kindly. 

‘Yeah that would be nice. I’m going to go, I need food, I’ll text you tomorrow yeah?’ 

‘Yeah okay Bec, sleep well.’ 

‘Bree- thank you, for looking out for me, it really means a lot.’ Beca states sincerely down the phone. 

‘Yeah, yeah okay. I still think of you as that weird ‘alt’ girl mind’ the blonde replies jokingly. 

‘Yeah and your still General Posen. All is good.’ Beca replies before hanging up. 

Things were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add this bit by here, I wanted your guys help with how to end this story, would you want a happy ending so to speak where Chloe recovers and things are okay. Or more of a darker ending? I am trying to do it as accurately as possible, because eating disorders dont just go away? Please let me know what you guys think.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! Only 3 more chapters left of this story- I have already written the ending and I am very happy with it! Please let me know what you think.

‘Andrew what time is that meeting this afternoon?’ Beca shouts across her office towards her PA who glances up in slight hesitation. 

‘2pm- is that okay?’ He asks, looking down at his diary. Beca nods before returning her attention back to the computer screen in front of her, sighing as she sees another notification pop up on her wall about some important deadline. The brunette runs her hand through her hair, the past month has gone by in a blur. Beca has visited Chloe every week and has even sent the ginger a couple of letters (not something Beca thought she would ever do). Beca has met up with Aubrey a couple of times, grabbing dinner or a coffee depending on both girls schedules. The brunette has also seen a few of the Bella’s when they came up to pay Chloe a visit, Emily and Stacie stopped by at the beginning of the week and updated Beca on how the ginger was doing. Chloe is doing better, much better, but she still has a long way to go, that’s something the brunette has had to come to terms with. That Chloe will probably always struggle with this and with food. The ginger has finally had her feeding tube out and according to Chloe has been engaging really well in therapy. Beca is actually grateful for what has happened, obviously wishing that Chloe hadn’t nearly died and had a heart attack, but this new found complete honesty between them has been one of the few positives to come out of this situation. Chloe is more upfront about her feelings and mood and doesn’t tend to constantly put on her ‘sunshine and rainbows’ personality, which Beca is thankful for, she finally thinks she’s seeing the real Chloe. 

‘Ms Mitchell, you had a phone call from an Ellen Beale whilst you were in the meeting. I took the number.’ Andrew states, handing Beca a sticky note with a number scribbled on. The brunette looks up in confusion, Ellen has her mobile number, why would she ring her at work? Has something happened with Chloe? 

‘Thanks Andrew. I’ve said call me Beca, you make me sound 40!’ Beca mumbles trying to sound up beat but plagued by the anxiety bubbling over why Ellen was trying to get in contact with her. Beca walks through the corridors of the big building towards her office where she closes the door behind her and closes the blinds- a signal to everyone in the office not to disturb her. The brunette takes a seat at her desk and pulls out her mobile before pressing Ellen Beale’s name and waiting for her to pick up. 

‘Beca? Hi, sorry to call you at work.’ 

‘Hi Ellen, it’s okay not a problem. Is everything okay?’ 

‘Yes of course darling. Its just that me and Derek have been to visit Chloe today and had a meeting with her Doctors and they think Chloe is ready to come home soon. I just really wanted to have a chat with you. Are you able to meet us for a coffee before our plane?’ Ellen’s voice says tenderly down the phone. 

Beca briefly hesitates glancing at her schedule, she does have that deadline for tomorrow, but she can just stay up late and complete it. This is much more important. 

‘Of course, I can meet you in about 30 minutes?’ Beca says, already shutting her computer off. 

Beca scans the small coffee shop for the familiar shade of ginger hair before finally spotting Ellen and Derek sat in the corner both clutching a cup of coffee. Beca sighs and makes her way over to the pair. 

‘Beca!’ Ellen exclaims standing up and immediately embracing the smaller girl. Beca instantly relaxing into the embrace and taking in the familiar scent, god Chloe is exactly the same as her mom. Ellen finally releases Beca and the brunette turns to smile at Derek who offers her a smile and a hand shake back. 

‘Beca what would you like to drink?’ Derek asks, standing up and pulling out his wallet. 

‘Oh please, no it’s okay. I can go grab a coffee.’ Beca mumbles fumbling about for her purse. 

‘Stop, just tell me what you would like.’ Derek states firmly with a gentle smile. 

‘A latte would be great.’ Beca replies, folding her hands back into her lap and looking across at Ellen. 

‘I’m so sorry to call you out of work, it’s just I thought this conversation would be better in person.’ Ellen states, Beca nods and leans back. 

‘So, Chloe’s doctors think she is ready and well enough to be discharged home, with outpatients appointments 3 times a week. In the meeting we discussed where it would be best for Chloe to return home too. As you can imagine we wanted to take Chloe with us, but Chloe was adamant that she wanted to come home to you in Brooklyn.’ Ellen states, rolling her eyes slightly.   
Beca nods taking in the information, smiling slightly when Derek returns with her latte. 

‘Now we are happy for Chloe to stay in Brooklyn, but we wanted to make sure you were okay with it. I mean the last 6 months haven’t been easy on anybody, especially you Beca and having the responsibility of Chloe in recovery isn’t going to be easy.’ Ellen states firmly. Beca nods pondering for a moment. 

‘Is she really well enough to come home? I mean it hasn’t even been two months since she had a heart attack?’ Beca asks cautiously. 

‘We asked the same thing to her doctors, but they said that individuals who go through a relapse often only need intense inpatients for a shorter time but require a longer more relaxed therapy-based approach.’ 

‘That kind of makes sense, I am more than happy to have Chloe come home with me, but I want to make sure its done right. I didn’t know about Chloe before, but I know and I want to make sure I know all the warning signs, how to handle different situations, because I’ve never done this before.’ Beca says, taking a sip of her latte. 

‘We completely agree with you Beca and Chloe has a discharge planning meeting next Wednesday that we feel you should be there for?’ Ellen asks glancing at Derek. 

‘Of course, yes, definitely. I’ll be there.’ Beca states not even thinking about work. 

‘There’s another thing we wanted to discuss. Chloe is still not well enough to be in work and were not quite sure when she will able to return so me and Derek have discussed it and we will cover rent, groceries and utilities for the next 6 months and take it from there.’ Ellen says, which nearly causes the brunette to spit out her drink. 

‘No, you don’t have to that. Honestly, thank you for such a kind gesture but it really isn’t necessary.’ Beca states shaking her head. 

‘It’s already decided, and we’ve set up the standing orders, so no arguments.’ Derek states offering Beca a smile. 

‘Well thank you both very much. Me and Chloe appreciate it very much.’ Beca replies, quietly relieved that they won’t just be relying on her salary anymore. 

‘Well we have to be heading to the airport soon, but thank you for meeting us Beca and we’ll see you on Wednesday? I’ll text you the details?’ Ellen replies standing up and pulling Beca into another hug. 

‘I’m scared, worried, anxious, excited. I’m feeling a lot of things about going home, but that’s okay. Feeling different things about one thing is okay.’ Chloe states, glancing around the group, ‘I don’t have to feel or act a certain way. There are no expectations of me from anybody else.’ The ginger continues smiling at Blair the lead therapist who nods smiling. 

‘You are exactly right Chloe, and well done for being so open about how you are feeling about being discharged. Amelia, Nicola as told me you’ve been struggling recently. Would you like to talk about that?’ Chloe shifts her gaze to her roommate next to her who has been struggling a lot recently. 

‘No not really.’ Amelia replies bluntly biting her nails. Chloe furrows her eyebrows in worry. Ever since Amelia had a phone call that her grandfather had passed away she hasn’t been doing that well, she’s gone back up to high supervision, isn’t allowed visitors except from her mom, refusing meals and Chloe can hear her exercising in the night. 

‘Okay, well I think that’s all for today's session. Well done guys!’ Blair replies as they all start to put their chairs away and carry on doing various activities. Chloe watches as Amelia walks out to the garden, fear rapidly building for her new found friend. Was this how Beca felt towards her? Watching her slowly waste away bit by bit, Chloe shrugs off the feeling before going to find Blair to talk about her worries about Amelia.

Chloe sighs lying against her bed, the chill of the night desperately trying to sneak in underneath her quilt. She has been awake for the last 4 hours agonising over the noise of Amelia ritualistically doing sit up after sit up. It was after watching the 21-year-old, slowly self-destruct that made the ginger realise she would never do this to herself again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! sorry for the delay in the updates! I hope you like this chapter- the next chapter will be the last one for this story.

Chloe is coming home today. 

Chloe is coming home today. Fuck! 

The brunette glances around at the apartment that she stressed cleaned at 4 this morning. Fresh bed sheets on the double bed, sunflowers in a vase, Chloe’s favourite Disney film ‘The Little Mermaid’ on the bed side table. The bath bombs and new PJ’s Beca bought the ginger sat on the end of the bed, but still the brunette was panicking. The discharge meeting that happened 2 days ago went well, Beca thinks, she’s never been to one before let alone be a key component to the health and well-being of someone. 

Chloe is still on a meal plan, which Beca has a copy of and has contacts for people if either Chloe or Beca thinks the ginger needs more support. Beca has learned techniques to help the ginger through meal times and what to do if Chloe doesn’t eat, but it still terrifies the brunette. Amidst all the happy and excited feelings of Chloe coming home, Beca can’t help but think it’s too soon. Chloe has barely been in the rehab centre for 2 months and suddenly she’s well enough to come home? Beca hopes it isn’t a way for Chloe to trick everyone into believing that she’s well. Beca is terrified that the moment Chloe walks back into their apartment she will refuse food start exercising and lying to everyone who loves her again, Beca can hardly tie her to a chair and force feed her pasta. Chloe did look better at the discharge meeting, still very thin, but nowhere near as sickly, she had the brightness back in her eyes, Beca could see hints of the old Chloe coming through the cracks, little spots of sunshine. 

Beca glances at the time on her phone 14:07pm, Chloe’s parents were picking her up and bringing her to the apartment by half past two. Beca could feel her anxiety rising up so quickly called the only person she could think of. Aubrey. 

‘Beca- before you start I know your panicking. I can hear the wheels turning in your head all the way here.’ The blondes voice echoed through the phone, immediately making the brunette roll her eyes. 

‘Okay fine, yes I’m panicking. Rightly so I think! They’re going to be here soon, what am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to do? Should I offer her a snack, or will that seem stupid? What about tea? God I don’t even know if she drinks it anymore, does she have sugar? Mil-’

‘Beca woah, calm down! Take a breath, just ask normal things, even your not that inept. Maybe don’t offer her a snack as soon as she walks through the door, maybe after her parents leave suggest a snack. Ask Chloe how she has her tea, Beca be led by Chloe. I spoke to Jessica and she said Chloe is doing really good. I know she broke your trust, she broke everyone’s, but I think we can all start trying to trust her again.’ Aubrey responds, instantly calming down the brunette who lets out a sigh of relief.  
‘Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks. Sorry I’m just fretting, I’m frightened that she’s going to get ill again.’ Beca mumbles quietly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

‘I know, we’re all a bit apprehensive but your not on your own. Chloe has her support groups and therapy, her parents know what’s going on. I’ll be up more often, so will most of the Bella’s. Everybody is here to support Chloe and you.’ Aubrey says kindly. 

‘Thank you Bree, I’d best be off, they should be here any minute. I’ll update you later on?’ Beca replies getting off the bed. 

‘Yes please. You’ve got this Mitchell. Give Chloe and her parents my love. Bye midget.’ The blonde says before the phone call is ended. 

Beca rolls her eyes and moves over to the kitchen, checking the apartment for what feels like 50th time. The brunette immediately spins when she hears the jingling of keys and murmured voices outside the door, God this was it. Beca wipes her sweaty palms and lets out a deep breath when eventually the front door opens widely revealing the ginger. 

‘Oh my god Beca! Finally!’ Chloe’s voice calls through the quiet apartment, instantly filling it with light and happiness. 

‘Chloe, we literally saw each other 2 days ago!’ Beca replies sarcastically before making her way over to the older girl and engulfing her in a hug, squeezing tightly. 

‘I know, but I missed you all the same!’ Chloe responds quietly into Beca’s ear, eventually the two girls pull away from each other and Beca finally greets Chloe’s parents and younger sister Olivia. 

‘Beca! You didn’t have to go to this much trouble!’ Chloe responds glancing around the apartment, which immediately causes Beca to blush. 

‘It’s nothing, It needed to be cleaned.’ Beca mumbles, staring at the ground. Chloe nudges her gently and offers the younger girl a small smile before noticing the pair of pyjamas with suns on. 

‘Bec-’ Chloe’s voice calls out, breaking slightly as she glances up at the brunette. 

‘Don’t say anything. Tea? Coffee? Would you guys like anything?’ Beca blurts out blinking away the tears that had formed in her eyes and turning to face Chloe’s parents and sister. 

‘Thank you for the tea Beca but we really need to getting to the airport, this one needs to get back to college.’ Ellen states placing her hand on Olivia’s back who offers the brunette a small grimace. 

‘No problem, I hope you have a safe flight. Liv I’ll get Chloe to forward you those tickets?’ Beca responds smiling at the younger girl who grins eagerly. Beca glances around awkwardly as she watches Chloe slowly stand from the kitchen table looking nervous. 

‘I’m going to take the um, trash out. Ellen, Derek it was lovely to see you. I’ll keep in contact. Live see you around, you can always come up for a weekend if college is getting to much. Bye guys.’ Beca mumbles before making herself vanish outside the front door with a half full trash bag in her hand. 

Beca nervously makes her way up to the apartment after 15 minutes, knowing that was enough time for Chloe to say goodbye to her parents. The brunette opens the front door nervously, glancing around for the ginger. Beca instantly finds Chloe on the bed, curled up slightly. 

‘Hey Chlo, you okay?’ Beca asks, mentally cursing herself, of course she isn’t okay. 

‘It was harder than I thought it would be. You know, saying goodbye.’ Chloe mumbles sitting up in the bed, wiping her tears.  
‘It isn’t goodbye forever, your mom said she was going to come up soon and you can always go home for a bit.’ Beca states, slowly sitting on the bed next to the ginger and reaching for her hand. 

‘Yeah I know.’ Chloe states sadly. A slight tension fills the air as silence takes over the apartment.

‘What are we supposed to do know?’ Chloe asks with a slight chuckle. 

‘I don’t know- what do you want to do?’ Beca asks still gripping onto Chloe’s hand. 

‘I’d really like to go for a walk, all I’ve seen for the past 2 months is the same back garden.’ Chloe states smiling gently at Beca who nods. 

The walk had been good, it had been normal. They talked about normal things. Like the latest celebrity brake-ups or how Chloe needs to catch up on Grey’s Anatomy. Normal stuff. That was until they turned around to come home and Beca realised the time, when they’d get back she was going to have to mention dinner. It was dinner time and Beca was panicking. For the past 15 minutes Beca walked in silence next to Chloe who was glancing around at Brooklyn as if it was the first time she’d been there. They soon reached the apartment and Beca’s anxiety was only growing stronger, the millions of possible outcomes over what Chloe’s reaction to needing dinner was nearly giving the brunette a headache. 

‘Beca? What’s wrong?’ Chloe’s voice cuts through as soon as they’ve just made their way through the front door. 

Beca’s head immediately snaps up and makes eye contact with the ginger, ‘nothing.’ 

Chloe laughs and shakes her head, ‘come on. Honesty, remember we’re both working on it. Now what’s wrong?’ Chloe states sitting down on the crappy sofa. 

‘It’s dinner time.’ Beca states letting out a sigh, shouldn’t that be obvious to Chloe? 

‘Oh, yeah it is. It’s later than I thought it was. Shall we make it together- wait? Why are you nervous about dinner time?’ Chloe asks suddenly standing up and making her way over to the kitchen. 

‘I just didn’t know how to handle it. Should I just start making it? I don’t know how to handle this situation.’ Beca mumbles putting her head into her hands with a slight groan. The brunette turns her head slightly at the sound of Chloe laughing. 

‘What’ Beca whines instantly feeling herself blush. 

‘Just I think I should be the one getting nervous about food.’ Chloe mumbles, which causes Beca’s face to pale slightly. 

‘Sorry. Too soon?’ Chloe states sitting down next to the brunette. 

‘Maybe a little.’ Beca replies running her hand through her hair. 

‘Listen how about from now, we can cook together. I still need a bit of support with the whole letting go of control, so we can make it fun? If I’m finding a meal or day hard I’ll let you know, okay?’ Chloe states taking hold of Beca’s hand and squeezing it. The brunette nods and smiles. 

‘Sounds good.’ 

Beca takes a sip of her water as she watches Chloe struggle with the last of her pasta. 

‘Okay- I’m done. I’m so full.’ Chloe states leaning back on her chair. Beca nods eyeing up the two mouthfuls left on the gingers plate. 

‘Beca if I eat the rest I might be sick. It’s okay. I had a much bigger portion than I was supposed to.’ Chloe states rubbing her forehead. The brunette nods before picking up the two plates and taking them over to the sink. Beca turns around and is instantly filled with worry at the sight of Chloe Beale crying, tears silently running down her face. 

‘Hey, hey Chloe, what’s going on. What’s happening up there.’ Beca immediately states rushing over to the ginger and kneeling in front of her, gently peeling away her hands. 

‘Just that was a lot of food and I just feel so guilty and full and horrible.’ Chloe states voice breaking. 

‘It was a normal sized portion of food, I ate the same amount. You do not have to feel guilty about eating, it is a basic human need for survival, just like breathing and peeing. The fullness will go, it’s just your brain trying to trick you. What do you need me to do?’ Beca asks gently. 

‘Maybe watch a film? I might change out of these jeans, they don’t help with the feelings.’ Chloe states voice still wavering slightly. Beca nods and helps the ginger stand up, watching as she makes her way over to the bedroom and starts getting changed. It was clear, Chloe had a long way to in her recovery. 

‘How are you feeling now?’ Beca asks, sitting up and pressing pause on the movie that’s playing on the laptop. 

‘Better, a lot better. Thank you.’ Chloe sates turning to face the brunette who offers her a small smile. 

‘I am so proud of you Chloe. I mean I always have been, but, gosh, you are just the most amazing person ever.’ Beca mumbles staring down at the sofa between them. 

‘I don’t think so.’ Chloe states blushing a deep shade of red. 

‘Well you are to me.’ Beca states glancing into Chloe’s familiar eyes which crease when the ginger smiles gently at Beca’s statement. 

‘That reminds me actually. I got you something. It’s only something small, if you hate it. We can get rid of it.’ Beca mumbles awkwardly as she stands up and makes her way over to her bedside table and pulls out a small little bag with a blue ribbon tied around it. 

‘Beca you really didn’t have too.’ Chloe states glancing up at the bag. 

‘I know, but I wanted to. Here.’ Beca mutters handing the bag over to Chloe and returning to her seat next to her on the couch. Beca watches anxiously as Chloe opens the bag and pulls out a small square box and opens the lid. 

‘Beca- I, I love it. It’s lovely.’ Chloe states, voice wobbling slightly. Beca blushes again and watches as Chloe pulls out the silver bangle with the word ‘Titanium’ engraved on it and a small heart. 

‘I just wanted you know how proud I am of you and how much I love you, and that I’m always here for you.’ Beca replies, shocking herself when she realises tears have formed in her eyes. 

‘Thank-you’ the ginger whispers before engulfing the brunette into a tight hug squeezing her gently. 

‘I actually have something for you two. Well it’s more of a question really. You can say no, I know the timing isn’t great, but I’m fed up of waiting. But Beca would you like to go on a date with me?’ Chloe asks sheepishly avoiding eye contact with the brunette. 

‘Chloe- yes, a million times yes.’ Beca replies smiling through the tears that have rolled down her face. 

‘Thank god you said yes! Is it okay if we take things slow though? And I don’t really think I could handle food out yet?’ Chloe responds playing with her fingers nervously. 

‘Of course, we can do whatever you want to do.’ Beca mumbles smiling gently. 

‘Okay great. Lets watch the rest of the film, I want to see Ariel slay that sea witch.’ Chloe states excitedly as she presses play and curls up into Beca’s side grabbing onto the brunettes hands. 

Beca lets out a sigh of relief. They were okay. Chloe is okay.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologies for the wait for this chapter... I attempted a different style with this chapter. I hope you like it. There is one final chapter or epilogue after this that I'm hoping to get up with the next week. Thank you all for all your support and love on this story- I can't believe It's nearly done. Please let me know what you think!

1 Year after making it ‘official’ 

‘Happy 1-year anniversary my love’. Beca states with a big smile, raising her glass of champagne to cheers with the smiling ginger across from the table. 

‘Happy anniversary to you too! I can’t believe it’s been a year!’ Chloe replies, taking a sip of her own drink. Beca offers Chloe a small nod, silently acknowledging all they had overcome over the past 12 months. 

It was true, the last year had brought ups and downs for the couple- finally announcing that they were an official couple had been the best- being open with their friends and families, not that any of them were surprised! They had also decided to move out of their tiny apartment they shared with Amy and into a slightly bigger one, one that had a separate bathroom and kitchen. Chloe had suddenly decided against becoming a vet, finding the shifts too hard to manage with her recovery and was currently retraining to become a teacher. Beca’s career was improving every week and she was suddenly making enough money that meant they could buy fancy champagne and go on nice weekend trips. Chloe was doing good, she was still going to therapy, but this was once a week now. There were a few occasions that Beca noticed Chloe was struggling, especially in the earlier months. Many nights Beca would hold the ginger tightly to her chest as she cried herself to sleep. But Chloe was always honest with her, if she was having a bad day or struggling with a particular meal. It was actually one of the few occasions that Chloe suggested going out for food, more often the ginger would prefer to eat in the safety of their apartment. But Chloe insisted that their first anniversary should be spent in a swanky restaurant. The brunette could still tell that Chloe was finding the menu a bit difficult and could sense the never-ending battle in Chloe’s head was quickly growing, so reached across the table and gripped her hand- the younger woman’s way of letting her girlfriend know she wasn’t alone. 

After they had both ordered the conversation started flowing about everything and anything- Beca’s job, Chloe’s training, Emily’s recent engagement to Benji. 

‘So how is Amelia doing?’ Beca asks taking a sip of her drink, referring to Chloe’s roommate at her old treatment centre. Chloe had stayed in contact with the younger girl after leaving and Amelia was released a couple of months after Chloe. They met up often, but recently Chloe had become more concerned about the younger girl. 

‘I don’t know, I’m really worried about her, but she just won’t listen.’ Chloe states, shaking her head. 

Beca nods and offers a small smile, ‘did you get Emily’s message today about planning her hen party?’ the brunette asks deciding to change the subject. 

‘I did! What are we thinking of doing? Maybe like a weekend getaway to a cabin?’ Chloe ask already getting excited for the youngest Bella. 

Beca sighed kicking her high heels off as she watched Chloe place her bag and jacket on the kitchen island. 

‘So, what are we saying, more champagne, movie?’ Beca asks moving over to the white sofa, and flopping onto it, spreading out like a starfish. Beca glances over when she hears Chloe’s phone ringing, burrowing her eyebrows in confusion. Who would be calling her this late?

Chloe glances down at the unknown number on her phone screen, ‘I’ll be right back’ the ginger mumbles before taking the phone through to their bedroom. 

Beca waits for what seems like forever for her girlfriend to come back into their living room. The brunette is just about to make a sarcastic comment to the ginger when she sees her finally come into view, but quickly stops herself when she sees all the colour has drained from Chloe’s face and that her girlfriend is shaking. 

‘Chlo? What’s happened? Are you okay?’ Beca asks, immediately sitting up, as Chloe makes her way over to the couch. 

‘That was Amelia’s Mother- I met her a few times at the centre. Amelia passed away earlier today.’ Chloe states numbly as Beca suddenly feels a lump form in her throat. 

‘What? I mean how?’ Beca asks, voice shaking. 

‘Her mom said it was a heart attack, caused by her bulimia.’ Chloe whispers before tears flood her blue eyes and she starts sobbing. Beca instantly engulfs Chloe into a tight hug, rocking her back and forth. 

‘That could have been me Beca’ Beca blinks away the tears at Chloe’s whispered voice, not even allowing herself to think of the possibility. 

3 years later- Wedding night

Beca felt her heart finally feeling whole, eyes glazing over at the sight of Chloe being twirled around by Aubrey all of their friends and families close by. It had not been an easy task getting her, and the brunette still couldn’t quite believe they had actually made it. 

After finding out about Amelia, Chloe had kind of slipped for a brief period of time but they both figured it out and Chloe continued with more therapy and managed to pull herself out before it got bad. The next 2 years had been a whirlwind, dating and sex and love… everything just kind of happened naturally. Chloe was now a fully fledged middle school teacher and loved every minute of it and Beca was excelling in her own career. Almost a year ago Beca had proposed to Chloe, one night sat in their bed discussing something meaningless, probably like a shopping list. Beca had looked at the ginger woman lying next to her in ridiculous orange and blue spotty pyjamas and fluffy dog socks and thought. I want to marry this person. 

So the brunette had done just that, without a plan or a ring had asked Chloe to marry her. The ginger had obviously said yes and after a tearful kiss had freaked out and said how they needed rings. Beca watched in amusement at Chloe who started haphazardly looking all over their apartment for something that could be classed as a ring. The brunette still remembers the feeling that filled her body when Chloe returned with two Haribo sweet rings and they had each given the other a ring. 

They still had those rings- something that made Beca feel slightly uncomfortable at that they hadn’t gone bad or started to disintegrate yet. But they had gone and bought ‘proper’ engagement rings, keeping the sweet ones in a little glass box on their mantlepiece. 

The lead up to the wedding was stressful, especially considering they were both working full time, and Beca regrets it now that Chloe’s recovery fell to the back of both their minds. It wasn’t until the brunette had received a phone call from Aubrey- Chloe’s maid of honour that the ginger was in tears at an bridal shop trying on different dresses that everyone realised Chloe needed help again. Sure enough that night, when Chloe walked in Beca placed a portion of dinner in front of her, gripped her thigh gently and whispered words of love into her ear as Chloe ate her dinner, tears streaming down her face. The ginger went back to therapy the next week and gained the weight she had lost back again and looked more like Chloe again. 

Beca blinked away the tears and offered a smile to her wife and the rest of the Bella’s who were all desperately trying to remember the choreography to one of the Bella’s songs that had come on. They had made it, her and Chloe had made it – they were married. 

I didn’t fall in love with you.   
I walked into love with you,   
With my eyes wide open,   
Choosing to take  
Every step along the way.   
I do believe in fate and destiny,   
But I also believe   
We are only fated   
To do the things   
That we’d choose anyway.   
And I’d choose you;   
In a hundred lifetimes,   
In a hundred worlds,   
In any version of reality,   
I’d find you   
And I’d choose you.

2 Year’s after the wedding

‘Bec’s is that you?’ Chloe’s voice calls out through the corridor of their apartment. Beca shrugs of her coat and with a massive huff pulls off her boots, taking deep breaths as shoe makes her way into the kitchen. 

‘They sent me home.’ Beca mumbles grumpily, plopping down in the arm chair of the kitchen, hands gently coming to rest on her massive belly. Chloe grins at her wife in the corner, putting the kettle on to make tea. 

‘Babe I’m not surprised, you’re literally due next week.’ Chloe states walking over to the unamused brunette and gently starting to massage her shoulders. 

‘I know- but I’m just not used to not being wanted you know?’ Beca groans, gently rubbing her hands over her stomach. 

‘I know you do, but listen, I want you, and little bean wants you too, in fact, little bean needs you. They need their Mama to be happy and healthy and well rested.’ Chloe says leaning over slightly to place a kiss on Beca’s cheek. 

‘Why don’t you go run a bath and have a relax and we can order takeout tonight?’ the ginger suggest knowing her wife can’t refuse a Chinese. 

‘Okay fine, but will you join us?’ Beca asks suggestively, trying to stand up from the chair, which has become increasingly difficult with the fact that she can’t see her own feet anymore. Chloe instantly walks around and helps her wife up win a grin. 

‘Gladly.’ 

Beca tosses again for what feels like the 200th time, nothing making her feel comfortable- the ache in her back and bones growing more and more. The brunette glances down at her wife sleeping peacefully beside her, a small smile forming on her face. Beca was so terrified of becoming a mom but having Chloe with her every step of the way made the brunette feel like she would be semi good at it. They had used IVF treatment to get pregnant and had decided early on that Beca would carry, Chloe had been stable in her recovery- hadn’t relapsed since the wedding incident but didn’t want to risk it. So Beca immediately agreed she’d carry the sprog- a decision she was slightly regretting at this moment. 

‘Babe?’ Beca jumped slightly at Chloe’s small voice as she crept back into bed, after finally mustering up the strength to go pee. 

‘just peed. Go back to sleep.’ The brunette murmured climbing back into bed and lying on her back, the back pain growing even more. The ginger rolled over on to her side and Beca felt an arm across her stomach, until Chloe’s hand stilled, and the woman cuddled in close to the brunette. 

That night Beca had gone into labour- 23 and a half hours later a teeny tiny baby girl was placed into the brunettes shaking arms, gripped tightly by an exhausted and tearful Chloe. 

‘She looks like an alien.’ Beca mumbles, slightly delirious from all the pain medication- a comment which earned a gently nudge from her crying wife. 

‘Don’t say that. She’s perfect.’ Chloe mumbles, still in awe of their daughter. 

‘Hey baby girl, do you want your mommy?’ Beca whispered, gently placing the baby into Chloe’s arms, eyes filling with tears at watching her wife and daughter. 

‘I’m so proud of you Beca.’ Chloe mumbled, not taking her gaze away from the sleeping baby. Beca nodded wiping away a few lone tears. 

‘We need a name for the little bean?’ Beca managed to splutter out, gently taking a hold of one of her feet and stroking it. 

‘I’ve been thinking about a name, I’ve actually thought about it for a while, you know if we had a girl.’ Chloe mumbles, glancing up at Beca with a small smile. Beca nods encouraging her wife to continue. 

‘What about Amelia?’ the ginger whispers, gently nuzzling her face into the new-born, a tear slipping out of her eye. 

‘I think it’s perfect. Welcome to the world Amelia Mitchell- Beale.’ Beca whispers smiling to herself. 

2 years after Amelia is born 

Chloe glances around the plain hospital room, gently rubbing her stomach- they would be here soon. And by they, Chloe is referring to the twins she is carrying currently. After Amelia was born the couple decided pretty early on that they wanted more children, and Chloe especially wanted the chance to carry. So when Amelia was just over a year old they went back to the same IVF clinic and started treatment, this time with Chloe carrying. The ginger had been in a really stable place with her eating disorder and had plenty of support around her. They didn’t quiet expect it to work as quickly as it did- but sure enough almost 9 months ago Beca and Chloe huddled over their en-suite staring at a positive pregnancy test. The next shock came at their first scan. 

Twins. 

Twins. 

Beca had initially started freaking out- twins, with a toddler. How the hell were they supposed to manage this. Beca could hardly get the nearly two-year-old to sit on a potty. How were they supposed to do that with two new-borns? Obviously after the initial shock the couple were more than delighted and started planning straight away. With the help of the Bella’s and Chloe’s family they managed to purchase a big family home on the outskirts of New York- close enough to both their jobs and they couldn’t fault the help they had received with Amelia. 

One thing Beca wasn’t expecting was to watch Chloe struggle again. The morning sickness hit Chloe strongly, almost constantly. It got to the point where some days Chloe couldn’t physically leave the bathroom. This had a rippling affect on her mood and eating disorder, along with her body changing and gaining pregnancy weight. Chloe struggled a lot, but sure enough after Beca came home from work to find her wife crying in the bathroom about everything. The brunette took her wife back to the doctors and back to therapy. There the doctor diagnosed Chloe with Hyperemesis gravidarum- or extreme morning sickness. Chloe was prescribed medications to help and slowly things improved. The next months flew by, with them having twins they both decided to find out the genders and were thrilled to be having one of each. Amelia still wasn’t quite fond of the idea of sharing her mommy’s, but they were winning her around with telling her she would be the boss. 

That brings us to Chloe, sat in a hospital bed at 35 weeks pregnant- good for someone with twins, waiting for her wife to turn up from work. The afternoon had been a whirlwind, Chloe had dropped Amelia off at Emily’s and Benji’s apartment before setting off for a last check-up with her midwife before labour. Then suddenly everything just started happening, they were worried about one of the twins, the lack of space in the womb so wanted to do an emergency caesarean section. That was nearly 2 hours ago- Beca’s work had been informed but the brunette was in some important meeting with a big boss and couldn’t leave yet. Chloe had been assured by the receptionist Lauren that Beca would be told as soon as possible. 

‘Babe, I’m so sorry.’ Chloe glanced up at the rushed voice of her wife speeding around the corner of the hospital room. 

‘It’s okay- I told them to wait as long as they could. I needed you here.’ Chloe mumbled leaning into Beca’s chest, tears filling her eyes. 

‘How are you? How are the little bees?’ Beca asked gently, placing her hand over Chloe’s resting on her stomach. 

‘They’re okay, buzzing to come out.’ Chloe joked with a watery smile. 

‘How are you?’ Beca asks with a sad smile, gently stroking Chloe

‘I’m so scared Beca… I need them to be safe. I need them to be okay.’ Chloe whispers a lone tear rolling down her face. Beca just pulls her in tighter and squeezes gently. Everything has to be okay.

‘Mama!’ Beca turns at the squeaky high-pitched squeaky voice called out down the corridor and the brunette melted at the sight of her two-year-old daughter, one hand clutching two balloons- pink and blue and the other tightly gripping onto her god mother Aubrey. 

‘Hey baby girl!’ Beca squeals equally as high-pitched before swooping down to pick up the toddler, who suddenly feels a lot bigger compared to her brother and sister. 

‘Missed you.’ Amelia states bluntly staring deep into Beca’s eyes that are still slightly glassy. 

‘Missed you more munchkin.’ Beca replies planting a giant kiss on the little girls face. 

‘How is everyone?’ Aubrey asks causing Beca to spin around slightly and face the blonde. Beca notes the slight hesitant tone to the older woman’s face and offers her a smile. 

‘Everyone is great. Perfect.’ Beca replies squeezing Amelia who has already gotten distracted with the ribbons attached to the balloons.

‘Milzs would you like to come meet your brother and sister?’ Beca asks gently, immediately causing the toddler to fixate her gaze on Beca’s face nodding apprehensively. 

Beca lets go of the toddlers hand, knowing that as soon as the 2-year-old saw her mommy she would break free anyway. 

‘Hello munchkin. Missed you.’ Chloe’s dry and tired voice calls out as the ginger attempts to sit up more but limited due to just have major surgery. 

‘Mommy!’ Amelia’s voice cries out as she also attempts to climb onto the hospital bed, still unaware of the two sleeping babies in the crib next to her mom. 

‘Up you come! Be careful of mommy kay?’ Beca says with slight worry at Chloe’s fragile state.   
‘Amelia look, this is your brother Alexander and your sister Elena.’ Beca says pointing to the two sleeping babies in the crib. 

Both Chloe and Beca watch in amusement as the toddler suddenly gasps and her eyes go wide. 

‘I’m boss?’ 

4 years after the twins 

Chloe frantically shoved three plates of pasta down onto the kitchen table to feed her ever growing tribe of children. Okay fine. 3 wasn’t exactly a tribe but it often felt like that. Especially now as Beca was finally on her way home from the hospital with baby number 4- with the ‘help’ of Fat Amy- Chloe had only trusted the blonde because everyone else was tied up and Chloe needed to be at home with her other children. The ginger glanced at her 3 children all happy eating and chatting about nonsense- 6-year-old Amelia still attempting to boss around 4-year-old twins Alex and Elena- neither of which were paying attention. All happy to finally have Mama and baby home. 

Chloe and Beca had decided after the twins had turned two to have another baby- they just didn’t feel complete. Chloe having been one of four felt something was missing and Beca being an only child wanted to make sure her children always had a friend. So alas… the couple started IVF treatment again, this time Beca deciding to carry as Chloe had such a bad time with the twins and everything. This time took longer that the others and the couple were just about to take a break when Beca finally fell pregnant. It didn’t stop being hard then, with 3 young children already and Beca still working full time it was chaotic to say the least. 

Beca had suddenly gone into early labour at 29 weeks… nobody knows why still. But sure enough 3 hours later little baby Madison was born, all 2lbs of her. This time was different than the other three being born. Maddison was whisked away in funny looking incubator to the neonatal intensive care unit and Beca urged her wife to go with their daughter. Chloe had done as her wife had asked and followed the nursing team, staying as close to her baby as possible. Unbeknownst to the ginger, Beca had suddenly started haemorrhaging and was being rushed into surgery. The next 48 hours were hell on this earth for the ginger. 

The brunette made it and so did their baby girl- Maddison did have to stay in the hospital for 8 weeks, to ensure she was strong enough to go home meaning Beca had to stay in the hospital too. The rest of the family visited when possible, the other children slightly terrified of their baby sister who looked more like an alien hooked up to loads of machines than a baby. Chloe hated it. Chloe hated being away from Beca and their baby. Chloe hated Beca and their baby being away from them. 

All of this resulted in Chloe facing more struggles, she lost weight- not a lot but it was noticeable, she stopped sleeping. All Chloe could do was think about her wife and teeny tiny baby in the hospital. That was until Aubrey turned up at the door 3 weeks in with a suitcase and a plan. Aubrey saved that family more than once. The next 5 weeks Aubrey slept in the spare room, cooked family meals, took and fetched the other kids to school. Comforted a distraught Chloe until one day Chloe was Chloe again. Aubrey and Emily- who still lived close by and was currently 15 weeks pregnant with her first baby were sat talking to the Mitchell- Beale clan. When Chloe emerged, showered and dressed, still a bit thin, still a bit pale but with a slight glimmer in her face. 

‘They’re coming home.’ 

‘Mama!’ Amelia’s cries are the first heard as the oldest child watches the front door to their house burst open and spots Beca, carrying a car seat carefully, Fat Amy behind her. 

The twins immediately jump up and follow their older sister to the door as Beca seats the car seat down and starts kissing heads. 

‘Can mama come through please?’ Beca asks with a grin as all three children allow her through, watching in curiosity as she picks up the car seat, turning it around to reveal still a tiny Maddison. 

Chloe smiles up at Beca as she walks into the living room, her heart finally resting as Beca offers her a smile back. Before suddenly the voices of her other three children demand to see the baby. 

‘Goodnight… Love you.’ Beca whispers gently shutting the bedroom door to the twins before making her way into hers and Chloe’s bedroom, watching her wife slowly cradle their youngest and last baby. Beca slowly makes her way over and climbs up onto the bed, gently stroking her daughters brown hair. 

‘I’m so glad you’re home. Safe.’ Chloe murmurs leaning slightly into Beca. 

‘I’m glad were all home. Together. And were all safe.’ Beca whispers leaning to press a kiss on Chloe’s cheek as they both stare in awe at their baby. 

‘And you little lady bug- thank you for being a little fighter and looking after Mama in the hospital.’ Chloe gently says, voice breaking slightly. Beca squeezes her wife gently, feeling finally full and content. 

The brunette glances up slightly when she hears their bedroom door creek open, revealing their eldest. 

‘What’s up munchkin?’ Beca asks, normally Amelia is wonderful sleeper. 

‘I can hear Auntie Amy snoring really loud.’ The little girl says rubbing her eyes as Beca and Chloe share and exchange and mentally remember all the times of the three of them cooped up in their tiny apartment. 

‘Come on then… climb in bug.’ Chloe says quietly trying not to wake the sleeping baby. Amelia’s face lights up with glee and immediately bounds over to the bed and snuggles into Beca. 

‘I’m glad your home mama. You belong here. You can’t leave forever and ever now.’ Amelia’s tired voice calls out causing Beca and Chloe to chuckle slightly. 

‘I actually agree with our daughter. You can’t leave forever and ever.’ Chloe states with a small smile, before glancing back down at baby Maddie.


	17. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the final and last chapter of this fic! Thank you all so much for all your support and comments! It has been amazing and I can't quite believe my first fanfiction is complete! Anyway I hope you enjoy this last little bit- I have been working on some more Bechloe fics so in the new year keep an eye out! Hope you all have a lovely Christmas! Thank you!

Epilogue 

The brunette grunts as she pulls up onto the driveway of her home, noticing lights precariously left on in various rooms. It’s definitely Elena, that girl cannot fathom turning a light off after herself for some reason. It was late, later than Beca wanted to come home, she tried now that she had children to be home for dinner but being the executive producer at the label had its downfalls. With the last muster of energy the brunette climbed out of her car, grabbing her coffee travel cup and files before walking the short distance to the house, opening the front door the first warning sign was the quiet. The Mitchell- Beale house was NEVER quiet, it was either Amelia was arguing with her younger sister Elena, or the twins were arguing, or the youngest member was having a meltdown- not something that was her fault. Maddison Mitchell-Beale had been diagnosed with Autism at the age of 5, so struggled with certain situations and sometimes could not explain how she was feeling or what she was thinking which resulted in meltdowns. Chloe was pretty good at calming her down after doing lots of training and reading about the condition. 

Beca wondered through to the kitchen, placing her coffee cup down and the files onto the island that really needed to be cleaned. Spinning around she caught the glimpse of ginger hair in the large dining room. 

‘Hey babies.’ Beca mumbled walking through to her twins, both sat doing homework. 

‘Hey mama.’ Alex called out looking up from his book and smiling. 

‘Mama, your home. I got an A in my English test!’ Elena squealed smiling with glee. 

‘Well done my love, where is everybody else?’ Beca asked glancing around for the rest of her family. 

‘Oh, Maddie is in the play room and Mom and Amelia went upstairs after dinner. Milzs is in trouble I think.’ Alex replied casually not breaking away from his book. 

Beca frowned in confusion, earning a shrug from Elena. Amelia was never in trouble, she has and always has been a really good kid, almost too good in Beca’s opinion. One time the 15-year-old had gone to a friend house for a sleep over but 2 hours in had called her mama to pick her up because everyone had been drinking and she didn’t want too. Beca wandered back through the kitchen and into the play room, where little Maddison was sat watching her latest obsession the Grinch. Neither of her parents knew why the 9-year-old had watched the Christmas film in May but 3 weeks later she was still obsessed with it. 

‘Hey Mads!’ Beca exclaimed quietly, knowing that any loud sudden noises may frighten the young girl. The small brunette turned her head in acknowledgement, something that Chloe was teaching her too do and smiled up at Beca. 

‘Mama’ She whispered reaching out and touching Beca’s arm softly. Beca smiled down and planted a kiss on top of her head before her youngest got re-entranced by the Grinch. Beca closed the playroom door gently and stopped at the bottom of the stairs to take her heels off. 

‘Oh my God! It’s not a big deal! Stop over reacting!’ Beca frowned at the sound of her eldest daughters raised voice flowing down the stairs.

‘Amelia Belle Mitchell-Beale. Do not raise your voice at me young lady! This is a huge deal! Just wait till your Mama comes home.’ Beca rolled her eyes at her wife’s voice, of course Beca would be playing bad cop in this situation. The brunette took a deep breath and climbed up the stairs and into hers and Chloe’s bedroom, knowing exactly that Chloe had taken their daughter in there. 

Beca stood in the doorway taking in the sight of Chloe face red and flushed, eyebrows knitted together in worry, not a usual expression of her wife’s and then her daughter sat cross legged on their bed, still in her cheerleading uniform, eyes watering and face pale. Buzz their Labrador lying protectively next to their daughter. 

‘Okay what’s going on?’ Beca asked moving in swiftly to the bedroom and taking a seat on the stool underneath Chloe’s dressing table. 

‘Mom is just making a big deal out of nothing! It was stupid! I’m going to stop!’ Amelia responded pleading. 

Beca glanced between her daughter and her wife, concern growing over Chloe’s reaction. 

‘Okay, what’s stupid?’ Beca asked hoping to get more out of her daughter who seemed calmer than her wife. 

‘Mom found my notebook that I was keeping track of my diet in.’ Amelia stated letting out a sigh. It suddenly clicked for Beca why Chloe had freaked out. 

‘Okay Milzs, why are you on a diet? You definitely do not need to be on a diet.’ Beca asked concerned for her daughter, it was true. Beca smiled sadly at her daughter who shook her head slightly. 

‘Tod Stenson made a comment about my stomach, and you know being a cheerleader we have this pressure to always look good and some of the other girls on the team were talking about it, so I thought I’d try it. But it sucks, it’s only been two weeks and I really want doughnuts.’ The younger brunette explained, Beca glanced up at her wife who was taking in deep breaths. 

‘Okay so number 1, Tod Stenson is a dick bag.’ Beca stated, earning a giggle from her daughter and an eye roll from her wife. 

‘Number 2, you don’t need to diet or anything, you are gorgeous and talented and kind. They are amazing qualities to have, you do not need to be worrying about your weight. Just listen to your body and eat what you want to eat.’ Beca stated, hoping she was getting this right. 

‘And number three, if you want a doughnut go and eat a fucking doughnut.’ Beca exclaimed smiling at her daughter. 

‘I know, it was stupid, I didn’t think. I’m going to go get a doughnut. I’m sorry Mom, for freaking you out.’ Amelia responded standing up and glancing up at her mom, who was still breathing in quite heavily. Beca noted the confused expression her daughter, and the worrying trance Chloe was in. 

‘Baby, why don’t you give me and mom a chance to talk, we’ll be down in a bit okay.’ Beca murmured to her daughter who simply nodded and slowly walked out of the bedroom. Beca followed behind and gently closed the door and spun back around, carefully pulling her wife to sit down on the bed. 

‘My love, she is okay.’ Beca mumbled softly, rubbing circles over Chloe’s trembling hands. 

‘I know, I was just terrified you know, that she was going through what I went through, and I just got so scared you know.’ Chloe whispered, a tear running down her cheek. 

‘I know, but you just heard her she’s okay and we can still keep an eye on her, check in and stuff?’ Beca stated smiling up at her wife, Chloe nodded hesitantly. 

‘I was just so scared because she had been on this ‘diet’ for two week and we didn’t even notice- I should have noticed. I am just so terrified that if any of my babies get this then it will all be my fault because I would have given it to them.’ Chloe spoke quietly, causing Beca’s heart to break. 

‘My love, we didn’t notice because we’re not with her 24/7 and now we know we can keep a close eye, but I think she’s okay. And listen to me yes there is a genetic component linked with anorexia, but environmental factors come into that, and it’s not a cold, she cannot catch it just by being next to you okay. You cannot live with this guilt. Look at Mads neither of us expected her to have autism, there was no genetic component for that but we adapted and coped, and now we are thriving. Our babies will be fine.’ Beca responded, squeezing Chloe’s hand gently. 

‘Maybe though, if you felt comfortable, we could both go and speak to Milzs about what you went through. I think it would be good for both of you and it will allow her to realise why you freaked out?’ Beca suggested cautiously, watching as Chloe paused hesitantly. 

‘Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. But do you think I could tell her on my own, and if she wants to hear your side she can come and speak to you?’ Chloe asks smiling slightly at Beca.   
‘Of course my love.’ 

With that the two moms made their way downstairs to their tribe of children, finding them all in the living room, Amelia and Elena arguing over what TV show to watch, Alex and Maddie sat on the floor playing with Lego. 

‘Everything okay?’ Amelia asked hesitantly glancing up at her moms walking in. 

‘Of course my baby, but Mom actually wants to talk to you about something important.’ Beca states leaning over and handing the remote to Elena who grins gleefully. 

‘Oh, okay. I’m not in trouble again am I?’ The oldest child asks hesitantly. 

‘No, but I need to explain something okay? Lets go outside.’ Chloe replies quietly and with a shaky voice. Beca squeezes her wife’s arm gently before offering a small smile. Amelia nods noting the seriousness of her two moms faces and stands up following behind the ginger woman closely. 

‘Okay- twins homework done?’ Beca asks getting two head nods back both fixed on the TV show on the telly.

‘Maddie, bath time please!’ Beca states earning small glare from the 9-year-old. 

‘Oh I forgot to say Aunt Aubrey is coming over tomorrow for the weekend and we’re going to meet up with Aunt Emily and Uncle Benji!’ Beca states earning excited yells from all three children. Aubrey never hade her own children, she’s been with Mark her partner for years, but they never wanted their own. Beca was more than happy with that as her children had practically become Aubrey’s which was great when they needed a babysitter! 

‘Love you lady bug!’ Beca whispered closing the door gently to Maddie’s room turning on her heal, instantly jumping when she is pulled into tight hug, immediately wrapping her arms around her daughter. 

‘Milzs you okay?’ Beca asks worriedly, hoping her wife and daughters chat had gone okay.

‘I’m okay, thank you for helping mom.’ Amelia whispered pulling away from Beca, allowing her mother to see the tear stains on her cheeks. 

‘I love you baby girl.’ Beca whispered, cupping her daughters cheek gently.’

‘Mom still outside?’ Beca asked wanting to find her wife. Amelia nodded before saying how she needed to change. Beca made her way downstairs and out to their garden, finding Chloe sat on the outside sofa, curled up underneath a blanket. 

‘You okay?’ Beca called out, momentarily causing Chloe to jump. 

‘I’m okay.’


End file.
